Please Stop Judging Me Because I Love Body Art!!

 I love tattoos and since the purchase of the tattoo machine for the mister, I am turning into a walking billboard of my hubby's art, which is fine by me.  I have a list of stuff I want now, I am so excited.  This has been so much fun for us to do together.  I am up to 12 tattoos now and have no intention of stopping any time soon.  The tattooing will end when I run out of room or die, whichever happens first.  I have always loved body art.  Even as a little girl I thought tattoos were so cool.  Then I got older and I knew I would have my own body art.
 I love each and everyone of my tattoo's and they mean something to me.  I think body modification is a beautiful art form  that not just goes unnoticed but gets discriminated against as well.  It breaks my heart to think that people with body art (myself included) are judged  purely based on cynical values and closed minded ideals.  Why not get to know a person before you start judging, just a thought!
 I have four facial piercings as well and I promise you, not one of them made me stupid or forget how to be a kind human being.  I have accepted the fact that because I REFUSE to remove my piercings or cover my tattoos for ANY job, that I will have shit jobs my entire life and ya know what??.... That is fine by me.  I would rather be broke and  be myself than to ever hide who I am for money.  I don't have children though so I can do that.  It sucks that parents have to hide their body art just to provide for their families.  It shouldn't be that way.  I am blessed to have such a cool boss that got to know me and loves me, tattoos, piercings and all!!  That is all for now!  Love you all!!

What have you done to make a difference today??

Commercials that don't suck!!

The Allstate Mayhem guy....  Pure fucking genius!!!!!  The raccoon, the blind spot, you name it and that man cracks me up.  I don't really know what else to say except hell yeah, those commercials are so new and refreshing.  I can't wait to see more.  Little secret, I think the Mayhem guy is pretty hot, even rocking the Nelly band-aid....  I'd do him.  (if I wasn't married of course)
The Sun Drop commercial with Snoop Dogg's song drop it like it's hot was another commercial that I honestly couldn't wait to see and I didn't see enough of it.  Thank goodness for YouTube.
The Gieco commercial with the wood chucks chucking wood,  My alltime fave of so far.  "you dang woodchucks, stop chucking my wood!!"  I love it when a commercial makes me laugh, now that will sell me something.  The stupid jingle ones that they want to get stuck in your head, just piss me off and I usually shy away from those products.  Can't really think of anymore off the top of my head but I had to get this important information out pronto! ;)

Glee is Disappointing me. Our affair must end. :(

I used to be a huge Glee fan, a Gleek if you will but now it seems the show has gone downhill.  I keep watching hoping it will get better but I think it's about time to give up on them.  :(
It saddens me but I suppose some of the characters need to go, hell aren't most of them in their late twenties anyway?  It's starting to look creepy.
 I still think it's cool how they bridge the musical gap between the generations and bring families together to watch the show.  Of course Sue Sylvester was my favorite character and I will miss her but I must say goodbye to my Glee watching days.  It's getting pretty lame.

Friend Requests from People who didn't even Like me in High School? WTF?

If you didn't like me in high school, what the hell has changed??  I know that I have changed (some)  and I am  proud of the person I have become, not that I was bad in high school or anything.  By the time I moved to Conway in the 11th grade, groups were already formed and the snobs in this town had no room for one more.  So honestly I didn't hang out with very many people and I am not friends with any of them now.  Funny thing is, the acquaintances that I had in high school have become better friends now than ever.  I couldn't ask for better friends, we just got a late start, that's all.  I think it went exactly the way it was supposed to, fate of some sort.

 It just makes me laugh when I get a friend request from someone who, for a fact, did not have shit to do with me in high school and all the sudden want to be all up in my business now.  What the hell has changed?  I accept some of them just out of pure curiosity.  I soon find out that they only want to be cyber buddies and have no intentions of hanging out with me in real life.  I need real contact sometimes, coffee, lunch, a beer, something.   I understand my friends that live out of state but some people live in the same damn town and we never get together.  Technology is weird and impersonal.  I don't know what to think about it all.

Does anyone else experience this???   Share your stories, leave me a comment.  I'd love to hear opinions on this issue.

Adele is Amazing.

I am not a big fan of pop, sappy music, but I must say Adele changes every aspect of how I feel, just by hearing her amazing vocals.  Her voice is mesmerizing,  It takes you to a safe warm place where all is right with the world.  The lyrics are heartfelt and real more than you can ever realize without listening for yourself.  It's liberating, beautiful, stops you whatever you are doing and makes you go whoa.... this lady has chops, bad ass ones.  I love her even more knowing that she is a real woman.  Not one of these pencil thin fake ass t.v made bitches.  Adele is gorgeous and PROVES that you don't have to be some skinny ass ho to make it in the big bad world of  malnourished twiggy phony vocalists!!  She took pain and turned it into beauty and shared it with the world.  Love it!!  Her song Hometown Glory is one of my faves, Lots of piano, giant vocals, touching lyrics.  Someone like you is another great one.  I could go on and on about her.  But I can't, gotta go to work.  :/

Two and a Half Men, Second Episode Sucked as well.

I wasn't surprised that the second episode left me feeling just as empty as the season premiere did.  I am still not buying this Walden character and I think that the story line they came up with is just ridiculous!!  Walden is Kelso and again, The 70's Show is over.  This dip shit even let Alan stay with him til he gets on his feet, sound familiar??  They already did that when he came to stay with Charlie to begin with, come on CBS, your writers need something a little more original than that.  I am so disappointed.  I keep wanting to watch just hoping that it's all a bad dream and Charlie is gonna walk in from escaping Rose's dungeon in London.  I still say Rose would have never killed him.  Not for a second do I believe that.  Now Alan and Jake are just going to live with Kelso like nothing happened??  I call bullshit, it will never work and it will never be as funny as it was with Charlie Sheen.  Give him a break and let him come back, Ashton isn't cutting it.  Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!  Bring his winning ass back, no one cares that he is crazy.  Hell, were all a little crazy.

I will not Take out my piercings or hide my tattoos for a job, EVER!!!

I believe in our rights and one by one they are being taken away.  They are small changes that the government thinks we won't notice, but people are starting to see things differently.  I am an educated person, I would consider myself to be smart and even an asset to any job that I may have at the moment.  Not to sound full of myself by any means but everyone I work with usually likes me, the customers have always really liked me and I am super friendly and helpful to the customers.  My last job was managing a restaurant at night and I was pretty damn good at it, I thought.  We had to close when the economy went to shit in 2008 and it was a really tough time for me.  I had to take my piercing out when I came to work (or wear a band-aid over my eyebrow.)  I only had one visible tattoo so it was ok.  I currently work at a Tobacco store and luckily they don't give a shit.  I now have 8 tattoos (with more to come) and 5 are highly visible and 3 facial piercings in cute places not tacky ones.  I have a small eyebrow piercing, my lip and my Marilyn.  They are very fitting to my face and I enjoy them, it's just fucking jewelry.  It just may not be in a spot that is considered "the norm".  I never claimed to be normal.  Normal is boring.  It's my right to express myself and I will not sacrifice my beliefs for some job that obviously doesn't want a real person employed there.  I stand up for what I believe in no matter how small it may seem to some people.  I even had a job offer recently making a lot more money than I make now but I turned it down because I will not change who I am to appease a boss.  My work ethic should be enough.  If you are not true to yourself, you're fooling no one but you.

If You're Healthy, Your Farts DON'T Smell.

Just saying.  Look it up.....

Two and a Half Men Season Premiere with Ashton SUCKED!!

I had my ideas of how the show would go and how they would introduce Ashton into the mix, I was not only wrong but extremely disappointed.  It was as if they were having a Charlie Sheen funeral, not a Charlie Harper funeral.  It slammed Charlie Sheen in my opinion.  It was very distasteful and not in the usual funny as shit Two and a Half Men kind of way.
 Rose killed him?  Come on.... puh-leeeeze!!!  She was in love with him, yeah she may have fucked with him a few times, like when she glued his nuts to his leg but she would never have killed him.  Come on CBS, be more believable damn.  Rose said on many occasions that she loved Charlie for who he was, well he was a womanizing sleaze.  She would not have killed him, period!!  Even if she did find him in the shower with another woman.
Ashton's character made no sense, he was awkward and goofy and reminded me of a really bad version of Kelso from The 70's Show.  I really have no idea where the show is gonna go with this but if they had any damn sense they would bring Charlie back.  They had a closed casket, maybe he wasn't there.  Rose has him in a dungeon in London for punishment...... he should escape and come back.
QUICKLY PLEASE

I Want to Write a Book.

Everyone tells me that I should write a book.  I'm sure they are just being polite.  I did okay in my writing classes but damn that's a huge task, that's why I blog.... short and sweet!  I wouldn't know where to begin.  My life has been a crazy string of events but whose hasn't?  Why am I any different?  In that case, we should all write books.  Wouldn't that be neat to get to read everyone else's story?  My story is a little different.  We shall see  how the cookie crumbles.  I have always wanted to write a book on survival skills of the normal fucked up person.   I have plenty, that's for sure.   Maybe I will one day and hopefully it will help another person.... just one,  and that will be fine by me.  

Some of My Favorite Quotes.

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
--Mother Teresa

"Before I met my husband, I'd never really fallen in love, I'd stepped in it a few times."
--Rita Rudner

"I have never killed a man but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
--Clarence Darrow

"Can miles truly separate you from friends?... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there."
--Richard Bach

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."
--Ingrid Bergman

"Expressing anger is a form of public littering."
--Willard Gaylin

"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:  the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."
--Walter Lippmann

"Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops, does time come to life."
--William Faulkner

"Suicide is mans way of telling God, you can't fire me, I quit."
--Bill Maher

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
--Mark Twain

Independent Movies on Netflix Rock!!

Netflix is awesome, that has already been established.  Except for their recent price hike, on a random note.... why the hell do they call it a price hike?  What the fuck does that even mean?  Besides, they didn't have a hike, it was more like an tour.  I'm still a little bitter as you can tell.  Asshole Netflix.

On a positive note, (yes I have those on occasion) I absolutely fell in love with the independent movie section.  Sometimes the actors are not well known but the story-line and characters are just fucking amazing.   I have found quite a few with big time actors in them as well and they are bad ass.   I guess since they spend less cash on advertising and paying 10 fucking million dollars per money grubbing, tight ass actor will save a lot of money and then they must take all the money they saved from the greed and they make this fucking wonderful movie that's way better than half of the crap I've seen on the big screen.  Wow, if I remembered anything from english class in school..... that was a run-on sentence from hell!!  :)  

I'm so sick of these Skinny Ass Models. Real People Don't look like that!!

Every-time I see a commercial or magazine ad for clothing and see these skinny ass bitches, it just makes me sick. I think our society is way to focused on looks and body image.  I mean what right does anyone have to judge who is the correct size or shape to be worthy of being in a magazine ad or commercials?  Whoever decides that really needs to think about their target audience.  Hurting one groups feelings to sell something to another group seems kinda fucked up to me.  When I go around my town and others, I see people of all sizes.  Now they are real.  I want to see authentic members of the general public in the magazines I buy, not the plastic nonexistent dolls I see that they are trying to pass off as humans.  Real people with real features don't look like that at all.  Honestly the women in the magazines all look the same to me, I long for variety in pictures of people. The human face is the one thing you can take a picture of over and over again and it stays the same, yet it's always captured different.  It's the little amazing things that keep me happy.  Well I have rambled off subject again, imagine that??  Me??  Never!!  :)
On that note, I'm out!!
Peace.

It's okay to be Married and Not Want Kids!!

For starters I never thought that I would get married but I met an awesome man that shares the same views and morals as I and we hit it off perfectly.  He is my best friend!!  We both agree that we do not want children.... Ever!!  We are in our thirties and we have a family.  Each other.  We also have 3 dogs and 5 cats that we consider our children and that is enough for us.  We enjoy our time together and maybe some people might think that it's selfish but I don't really give a fuck.   I see it as the exact oppisite..... If our broke asses  had a kid, that child would grow up the same way that we did.   Neither one of us had the best childhood and we both grew up really poor.   I would never wish that life upon anyone, especially my child.  We made a selfless decision to not ruin another persons life. I like kids, I think they are adorable little creatures.  Some people aren't meant to be parents and that is totally alright.  Totally!!

 I love my friends kids, I think they are great, because they are not mine, I am not responsible for them.  Besides I have the patience of a ten year old so that would be a major problem.  On that note, I think I will have a beer (or 8) because I can.  Then the husband will come home from work and we will have sex somewhere crazy and then cuddle on the couch til bedtime while watching R rated movies with lots of cussing.  ;)
  It's the life I always wanted, I'm just so lucky that I found my dream guy.  Kudos to all the mothers out there that I know.  I honestly don't see how you do it.  I admire you and say....better you than me!!  :)

My Father Gave Me a Name...... Then he Walked Away.

Since I seem to be on this streak of putting myself out there and maybe letting some walls down in the process.  I don't know what the fuck I am doing, I guess I just wanna keep it real and maybe it will give some understanding as to the way I act sometimes.  Or help someone else that may have went through the same thing.   I'm a work in process for sure.

      My Father left our family when I was four years old so I don't really remember it, I just knew he was gone. Fast forward a few years and he remarries a much younger woman and had two other children during this time.  It's really too long of a story for this so I'm giving you the short version.  I have had no real contact with my father since I was six years old, his choice, not mine.  My mother never talked bad about him and always let me make my own decisions about seeing him.  He made them for me, he didn't want to see me.  He had a replacement family and he was/is a good father to them.  I never understood why I wasn't good enough to be his daughter but his other kids were??  It was very confusing growing up.   When they were younger I would visit my grandmother (fathers mom) on the weekends and they would be at her house as well.... I always considered them to be my brother and sister, no half, no labels, just brother and sister, with pride even.  I wiped my brothers ass and took him to the park but most importantly,  I loved him.
 My sister was just a baby, she didn't know anything was off, she knew I was her sister but I just didn't live with them.  She was the cutest little girl with chubby cheeks and a love for Barbie dolls.  We had a lot of fun playing dress up and hide and seek.  I wish I would have gotten to know her better before I pulled my stunt.

My stunt:  When I was 16 I decided I knew everything and I wanted someone to blame, someone to punish, to feel what I felt.  All the years of being poor and barely getting by while watching my father provide for his family and I was in hand me down pants that were still too big.  Seeing my mother suffer and cry, wondering how she was going to feed us.  I couldn't sit back and be fake while I felt like an outcast, so I basically disowned my family (fathers side) and stopped talking to everyone but my grandmother, we moved to a new town so my mom could go to college and I never looked back.   My brother was 10 at the time and my little sister was 5 or 6.  She doesn't remember me being around when she was younger but I sure do. My brother and I were really close, we used to build forts and play with Ninja Turtles and watch the damn Ghost-busters movies he was addicted to.  I thought I was a good sister but I guess I ended up unintentionally punishing him for my father (our father) being a prick. Crazy thing is, he is a good father to them.  It hurts me and makes me wonder why I am not good enough to be his child, what did I ever do?  I was just a little girl who loved her daddy and then he was gone.  I'll probably never be completely over the hurt that was caused but I have learned to accept everything.

Fast forward once again to 2008, my grandmother passed away and my brother promised her that he would find me and make things right.  Well he showed up on my doorstep after not seeing him for 10+ years and we went to lunch and talked and I really hoped to be a part of his family.  Unfortunantly that's exactly what is was..... his family.  I went to his hometown to visit and we attended my grandmothers funeral together.  I went right up to my father and hugged him, I even told him that I forgave him.  I spent some time with him, my step mom, and my brother and sister.  I thought finally I was part of something but it was never my something to be a part of.  My brother and I remained in contact for a year or so with visits and all.  He helped me get some parts for my car, he did brother things, it was nice to have him around.  I always wanted a brother,  so for about 2 years we were family, or so I thought.

I lost my job and was getting unemployment benefits and during a phone conversation we got into an argument about something that I don't even remember now and he basically made me feel like shit for being on government assistance, which led to some harsh words about how I wasn't given everything growing up like he was and he would never understand what's it's like to hurt for money or get evicted because you can't pay your rent.  He had a dad to give him guidance, advice and support.  How dare he judge me, he has no clue!!  Well that was the last time we talked and I have no intentions of ever speaking to him again.  He can never right all the wrongs.  It hurts but I did what is best for everyone.  My sister and brother may not get it now but one day when all the truths come out, they will understand why I did what I did.  If they have any sense, they will thank me for not ruining their fake little world they have created.   I feel so much better now getting that out.... whew, finally.

Job Not Sucking as Bad. (entry 4)

Well I had a meltdown and quit my job.  I wasn't thinking and I let some assholes get the best of me, totally not my usual fuck you self.  This customer basically lied and said she gave me a $20, when she clearly gave me a $10.  I ALWAYS put the money on top of the register until the change is COUNTED back, then I place it in it's  proper slot in the drawer.  This snaggld toothed hag came in 5 minutes later saying I stole her money.  WTF?  I am only one lonely cashier and I had a line so I expressed my thoughts of her being a liar and I gave her a ten dollar bill.  After it slowed down a bit, I counted my money and I was $10 short..... Imagine that.  It just got the best of me that day and I let those assholes beat me.  It own't happen again, I am stronger than that.  I am ashamed of how far I let them push me and so lucky that my boss is so fucking cool.  she let me cool off and she called me two days later and asked me to come back.  She encouraged me to be better than them douche bags and fuck what they think.  So things are going better, for now.  I don't work that many hours so that helps.  ;)
As you know..... I'll keep ya posted on my crap job and asshole customers.  Stay tuned. lol.

MTV'S VMA'S 2011 WTF Rundown.

I didn't watch the entire Video Music Awards this year, at least not yet.  You know they'll replay it on MTV for at least 2 fucking months, they always do.  What I did see though.... What the hell is happening?  Lady Gaga was a dude, a really ugly dude at that.  I mean I love Lady Gaga and I love her crazy, don't give a shit attitude.   She played the dude part well, too well.  She stayed in character all night so I'll give her major credit.  Anyway and Beyonce is pregnant and still rocking it out.  She is amazing and I am pretty sure she is a robot.  Kayne didn't eject anyone from the stage this year but from what I saw, was he ever even up on stage??  Did he win anything?  Don't get me started on Justin Beiber or Canadian poster child for miniature assholes, whatever you wanna call him, her, it, whatever.... he looked like the kid from Harry Potter, ya know Harry Potter.  He beat out Eminem??  I demand a recount.  Seriously?  Brittany Spears wore a cute little black dress and looked healthy.  She deserved her awards and I'm glad she's made such a comeback.  She's come a long way!  Go Brittany!   I loved the mini Brittany Brigade that were reliving her best video costumes and  moves, that was pretty cool.  The speech Russell Brand gave about Amy Winehouse was beautiful and I loved the footage of her and Tony Bennett working together.  I guess I never noticed how gorgeous she was, I feel bad for that.  The whole thing was very well put together and thoughtful!  Her voice is irreplaceable and I am saddened to know that we won't get to enjoy more of her   I love Katy Perry, she is adorable in any weird outfit or cube on her head.  Because her music kicks ass, she can pretty much get away with anything. She only has a couple of songs that make me go WTF was she thinking?  Russell Brand and her make a great couple, they have a perfect mixture of hotness and craziness that can go a long way.
Oh and the MTV house artist, Jessie J, who the fuck is she?  Where did she comes from?  I hear she opened for Katy Perry or something, sometime, somewhere??  I thought she sucked and her cover songs were a disgrace to the original artists.  She had a broken foot and was in this ugly cast thing.  I never understood why she just sat there, I mean I know her leg was stuck in a cast but damn, MTV is rich, they could have had her suspended by something cool or at least on wheels, hover round.... something.  Hopefully next year MTV will step it up and get back to the coolness level that they once had.

Life is Precious..... it's time for us to Change!!

Just when you think that life is hard to deal with, something happens that puts everything into perspective.  It's usually something drastic and difficult but it shows you that things can always be worse than they are.  I am still learning to practice what I preach but I still gotta preach a little.  :)

 Life is too fucking short so everyone needs to quit their bitching (myself included) about their sad little lives and be happy you woke up this morning you ungrateful cock suckers.  Sorry, got carried away a bit but I feel very strongly about this and it's seriously time for change,  it's time for us to change.  We already have so little control of our lives as it is, so maybe it's time for us to say fuck it and really, I mean really enjoy our lives.  Stop worrying about what other people think or what they do.... Just keep "your world" awesome and the rest will simply fall into place.  If you surround yourself with positive, happy people with little drama, then your life will be calmer and happier. FACT!   We feed off of our friends and feel what they feel, so sometimes it's a battle we all have to face at some point in our lives to weed out the shitty selfish friends from the supportive, selfless ones.  It hurts to let those people go but the love and great memories can remain close to your heart without them being a part of your life.   I know a few people that I have some great memories with and I have no ill feelings towards them at all, were just not friends anymore.  I don't talk about them in a mean way, I am nice if I see them in public.  I just choose not to hang around them.  No big deal, why do people make it a big deal?  It's life.  It changes, we change.

 Now I am rambling.  Let's just all get along, coexist, quit fucking with each other, don't be selfish, or greedy, stop talking shit, be nicer, more helpful to our neighbors, don't judge, live peacefully, the list could go on forever. Let's not just live, let's become better human beings.

Wanna Fix the Deficit??? Legalize Weed!!

It's as simple as that.  Thousands of people die each month in alcohol related deaths.... how many deaths are attributed to weed??  I don't know because I have never heard of any.  Legalize the shit, tax the shit and fix our damn money problems in this country.  That is all.

West Memphis Three FREE at Last. To Bad Arkansas Just Couldn't admit they were WRONG!!

I have a BIG opinion on this one..... I always have.  I've followed this case for 18 years, read the books, court reports, watched the movies, looked up to Mara Leveritt and read every word that she has wrote about these three men and this case.   These men have been innocent from day one and the fact that they had to endure ANY time in jail, much less one on death row is complete and utter bullshit to me!!!!!!!   I am so excited that they were set free, but at what cost?  This stupid 'Alford Plea' is ridiculous.  I can't believe they plead guilty (technically), got credit for time served and then they were  released as if they were just expected to grateful.  FUCK that!!!
The fact that they can't sue is crazy too.  The state owes them for the 18 years that were taken from them.

No one wins in this decision, not really.  There is still a killer out on the loose and no one seems to care.  They closed the case, WTF??  It's not closed, no one has paid for the crime.

The West Memphis Three unfortunately paid for the mistakes of the state of Arkansas.

I am ashamed and appalled at the way MY home state treats it's own.  Just remember, this could happen to anyone.  They took the fall for the injustices of this state this time..... who will take it next time?

Abercrombie & Fitch Wants Jersey Shore to NOT Wear Their Clothes!! Love it!!

I am not a name brand fan, label ho, whatever you wanna call it, I buy cheap (thrifty)  yet nice clothes and would never spend $60.00 on a fucking t-shirt, sorry.  But I do applaud Abercrombie & Fitch for not wanting those morons from Jersey Shore to wear their clothes.  I love it, I love it.  I mean I hate the idea that those worthless fucks will get more money for basically being sluts and making fools of themselves, but I like the fact that finally someone sees that these people are NOT to be looked up to.

Sick of Snooki and The Situation. Go Away Already!

If I see one more interview with Snooki or The Situation, I may just vomit.
 These people are a disgrace to humans in general.  I am ashamed to share my air with these sleazy sluts.  It amazes me the amount of people that watch that show.   Why do we condone the behavior of theses idiots?  Kids look up to these skanks, it blows my mind.  That's really all the time I can waste even thinking about those morons without losing brain cells myself   They are draining.  Ugh!!

Bullies are Getting Worse!! This has Got to Stop!!

I was tortured in school growing up, I had buck teeth and freckles and a HUGE forehead.  I took my fair share of shit from snobby ass people that thought they were better than me.  I survived, barely.  It stuck with me after high school, it hurt my self esteem and was probably the reason I sucked at college, who knows?  All I know, is it sucked!!  I would love to say that it made me a stronger person, but it didn't.... it made me weak and vulnerable.  I deal, that's what I do.  I couldn't even imagine the how much worse it would have been if there would have been computers, cell phones and fucking Facebook when I was a teenager,  Holy shit that would've sucked ass.   I'm not a parent so I officially have no right to say anything really about someones child but I do have a teenage niece and I feel a child's account should be monitored by someone.  Again, not my business.  What's up with this shit I see with 11 and 12 year old children having Facebook pages??  I don't understand that one bit.  Kids are mean as hell these days, they don't need another resource to belittle or degrade others.   Can't we all just get along?   It's one world, one race.... the human race.  It's damn time that we come together and stop being mean and cruel to our own, to anyone!

 Just please think of other peoples feelings, you wouldn't want to be treated that way so don't treat someone else that way.  What happened to the Golden Rule??  Most do not even know what that is anymore....  I'll remind you,

"Do unto others as you would have others do unto you"

Wedding Stress..... Why?? Love is ALL that Matters!!

I hear people all the time bitching about not having enough money for their wedding and or honeymoon.  I am a girly girl and always thought I would have a semi big wedding (if I ever got married) with a big pretty dress and all glitz and glam with kick ass brides-made dresses and a cruise for a honeymoon.  Ooh and bubbles, lots of bubbles!! :)
 I quickly learned when I met my husband and fell in love with him,  that all that shit is SO not important.  My husband and I got married by a justice of the peace in some girls house that I thought was my friend at the time,  but she really wasn't, and she isn't now.  That doesn't even matter to me.  That day was OUR day and no one could have made it any better.  No crazy family shit, no drama, no stress over money, no stress at all.   I wore jeans and a tank top and it was fabulous!!   What else do you need?  We enjoyed our honeymoon at the dog park the following day with our new family, it was more amazing than any beach or even Hawaii.  Fuck it, we had each other and that's all we wanted.   Apparently some people need to have this huge look at me, look at me wedding, and to you I say, Go for it if that's what you really want.  Just don't forget the real reason you are getting married.....Love!!  And don't stress about it.  It's your day!!  Have fun!!

Here's our fancy wedding photo's!!  I cherish them!!

The married Couple!

 Love!

The rings

My Job Sucks (entry three) I'm Seeing a Pattern Here.... I quit!

So if anyone has been following my bitch fest about my new job then I am sure this was expected..... I had a meltdown and quit my job.  I had enough, all in one day.....  I had money thrown at me, a package of Levi Garret thrown at me and the icing on my cake of shit was being taken for ten bucks by some bitch who swore she gave me a $20 but she lied through her snaggled meth teeth.  I counted my drawer and I was $10 short.  Bitch.  She even had the nerve to tell me that I look like the type of person who would try to take advantage of an old lady.  Pshhh, she wasn't that old.... she had the meth makeover going on.  So, I quit.  My boss and I talked the next day and I am going back to work.  She is kindly giving me some time to cool off.  We shall see, I don't know how much more abuse I can take from mean ass customers.  I hate that I let them get to me but unfortunately I wear my heart on my sleeve and maybe I need to grow a pair!!  Wait, I DO need to grow a pair!!!

 I will go back to work with the biggest smile on my face and be nice as shit to people.  I will kill their asses with kindness!!!  Kill em I say.  I am very lucky to have such an understanding boss.

Stop Being Mean to Cashiers who CAN get your Personal Information.

I am a cashier and I get treated like shit.  It is crazy how mean people are and they don't even realize that I can get their information and fuck with them if I wanted.  I won't, I would never do that, my mama raised me with morals and respect for others.  I would however toilet paper a house or two, don't get me wrong!!   :)

In my opinion most people who have had problems with identity theft,  probably pissed off the wrong cashier.  It's 2011, why the fuck are you still writing checks??  (except for bills) Knowing I am supposed to run it through a machine to make sure funds are there.  Hello???  Your information is being scanned into a computer.  I know your address, phone number and drivers licence number.  In some cases, the social security number is on the check.  Dumb-ass!!!  Luckily I am not like that but believe me, I know some people that are.

I was raised in the south where we are nice to our neighbor and even go out of our way to help others when needed.  What the fuck has happened to people to make them so mean.  I want to believe that most people are good.  I do not hold grudges and I disagree with people that do.  Life is too short to be so pissed off all the time.

Just saying, please think of someone else's feelings before you take your crappy life out on someone else.  It's not my fault that you suck.

We don't Have Healthcare.... We Have Sick Care. America sucks!!

I'm poor, I do not have health Insurance, hell I can barely afford my car insurance.  It sucks to have to pay all this money for something that may or may not happen.  I only pay car insurance because it's illegal not too.  :)
In fact, for about 5 years I was so broke that I would only get insurance once a year (just to get tags) then just stop paying it.  Not saying it's right but we do what we have to do sometimes.  I have Hyperthyroidism and it is a pain in my ass.  I am not on medication because I do not have a doctor and couldn't afford the office visits and prescriptions.  I suffer daily, the weight fluctuation, the sweats, the chills, the passing out, the anxiety, the depression, the headaches.... I could go on and on.  I have learned to deal with it but the fact is, I shouldn't have to.  I am a good person, a tax payer, even a productive member of society.  I don't commit any crimes and consider myself to be a good human being.  I think my friends would agree.  Point is, I can't get help until I pass out and have to go to the emergency room.  That is my doctor, I have no choice.  I am not alone, it is sad the way our country treats it's family and that's what we should strive to be like.... more like a family that helps each other instead of watch them all suffer.  My disease is curable, but will they won't spend the money once to fix me forever, they wanna treat me repeatedly, knowing I don't have any money.  I call Bullshit.  I wish we had universal healthcare, we need it, our people are suffering and some even dying because they can't afford their medicines.  It's a sad sad country we live in.   I would move to Canada in a heart beat if I could.  They want to help their people not watch them slowly die.  Fuck America.  And before you get all pissed and say, "if you hate it so much, then move".... trust me, I would if I could.

Ooh I am SO mad at Netflix right now!!!

Just when I thought they were cool and better than Redbox, I was wrong yet again!!!  They can expect a big drop in customers in my opinion.  I could be wrong, people are lazy and will pay to get to sit on their ass.  I however, am still considering whether or not I will stay a Netflix member.  I am searching other options and have found plenty.  Netflix better realize.... people are mad at you.  Good luck with that.  Now I have to decide whether to keep my cable and Netflix, I don't think I can afford both.  Hmm??  Who will go?  Gonna have to do some more research and decide.  I do so love the independent movie section on Netflix.  Ugh, what to do, what to do??  Damn you Netflix.

I Just Discovered Dry Shampoo, I've so been missing out!!!

I always thought that dry shampoo was for nasty people who didn't bathe.  Boy was I wrong, well I am sure there are stinky people that use it so they don't have to wash their hair but I have found an awesome reason for it.  I am not a natural redhead, sorry to disappoint you all, I do however have the attitude of a redhead so I color that shit once a month.  Anyway, I am sick of seeing my hair color go down the drain so I bought some dry spray shampoo, it's cool as shit.  It's not all powdery and gross.  It smells nice while still dissolving oil.  It's a spray so it's easy to use.   It will save me so much money not only on shampoo but hair color as well.  It's new to me and I am in love.  My beautiful fake ass red will be brighter, longer!!  So lesson learned here.... Not just nasty uncleaned hippies use it.  Clean good smelling hippies do too!!     :)  :)

WTF is with all the Skinny Jeans??? I hate them!!!

Skinny jeans were not cool in the 80's and they sure as hell are not cool now.  There is only a small percentage that can pull them off anyway so why bother.  They look so clingy and tight at he ankles and I don't find them flattering at all.  And what the hell is the deal with guys wearing them??  Are you serious??  Oh wait, you must be gay.  Not that it's a bad thing.  I don't care who people love.  Just don't look stupid doing it.  How can these people look in the mirror and think, "damn I look good in these tight ass pants that squeeze everthing that's wrong with my body and highlight it".   I don't care what people wear.... to each their own.  I prefer the flare look.  Semi tight in the ass, (no load dropped look) I don't want it to look like I have a penis, slightly tight at the knee, then flare out slowly and poof a bit at the ends.  I don't ask for much.  lol.  I wish bell-bottoms would come back.  Those were cool, maybe not the super huge ones but I want to cover my big ass size 9 feet at the same time.  Skinny jeans would make it look like I am on skis or something.  Not cool.

Finally I am Employed.... but it sucks. :( (entry one)

So after the economy went to shit, I was one of the many to lose their job.  It sucked ass going from making money and my husband being able to go to school and then BAM, He had to drop out of school and go back to doing construction.  He was going to school so he would NOT have to do that anymore, his back can't take it any longer.  Well, he is back doing construction, but this time he works for himself and that is much better for him.  I got a little 20 hour a week job at a tobacco shop, selling cancer and false dreams of lottery winnings.   It sucks.  I basically work the days that the other guy doesn't want to work.  Shit shifts I like to call them.   I work weekends and the days when the truck comes in.  I'm not sure how long I can take it.  People are stupid and they piss me off.   I wanna take that lottery card scratch off container thing and pull an Office Space on it. (take it to a field and beat it with a baseball bat for the people that suck enough to have not seen that movie)  The amount of money wasted on those stupid things is ridiculous!!!  I totally understand buying one every now and then but there are people that come in and spend a hundred dollars or more on scratch off's alone.  Believe me, I am in no position to tell people how to spend their money but DAMN!!  That's all I can say for now....  I get pissed off just thinking about that shit hole so I will stop while I am ahead and try to be positive!!!  Tomorrow is a new day, that just so happens to start at 6 fucking a.m.  :(

I'm glad Javier won The Voice

I know I bitched about Xenia not winning and I still think she WAS the voice but I am happy with the results.  I loved Javier from his first audition when he sang Time After Time, it was beautiful!!  Out of all the coaches I liked Adam the best and not just because he is hot as fuck.  Don't get me wrong, it helped but he truly seemed to care about each of his team members and wanted them to win for them..... not him.  It was really cool to see him happy when they did well, you could honestly feel the pride.  I felt the same about Cee Lo and Christina as well.  I think they did really good on the show.  I think they cared about their team as well and I enjoyed the coaches bickering, it added some spunk that is needed in such a scary competition  for these singers.  I still love the whole concept of the show itself and I can't wait for season two.  I understand the reasoning for a country coach but I still insist that it should not be Blake Shelton.  I am disappointed with his song choices for his team and felt the variety just wasn't there.  I mean damn, he assigned poor Xenia two songs by The Script, both sung by a man and both about love.  I longed for a girly upbeat song for her and I never got it.  It's like he just pulled random songs out of a hat,  a bad song hat.  Where was the variety??  I'm looking forward to seeing what the next go around will bring.  Maybe they should slide Reba in there in Blake's spot??  At least she would be a better coach.  Hell a monkey would do a better job than him and probably have a better personality as well.  Not that I am comparing Reba to a monkey because I am not, she rules!!  I do feel bad for the Blake Shelton bashing and I am sure in real life he is just swell, but stick to singing... not coaching.

Gay Marriage in New York, yet I Still Can't Smoke a Joint.....Backwards much??

I have nothing against people who are gay.  It makes no difference to me who someone loves and or marries.  I honestly could give a shit less.

Now what I don't understand is why marijuana is still illegal??   I just think we have our priorities fucked up along the way somewhere.  Big time!!!!!  I am happy for New York and every other state that recognizes same sex marriage.  Why the hell is our country so broke when we can make money off of a plant.  It's a plant.  I know, I know--  It's illegal.  I still don't understand why.  Alcohol kills more people but I can go get a beer right now.  Seems fucking stupid to me.  I am only expressing my opinion, which I am allowed to do by one of the  rights I feel I actually have left in this horrible excuse for a country.  It'a all about politics and money and most of all greed!!  I don't really talk politics on my blog much but when something seems so simple, I just don't get it.  Oh and our lack of tree problems.... duh, hello, start growing hemp and making paper and so many other things it's ridiculous.  Save the rain forest, plant some damn hemp.   The Constitution is printed on it yet I can't smoke it.  What the fuck?

Just when I though Redbox was cool, I discovered Netflix!!!

I was loving me some Redbox, I mean a dollar a day, hells yeah count me in.  Then I saw a commercial for Netflix and they were doing a free month with sign up so I thought what the hell, we'll give it a try.  My husband and I's old ass sure as hell don't use the Playstation 3 for anything else.  Oh my gosh it is amazing.  They have so many movies it's crazy and it just goes through the internet and bam..... movies, television shows, everything.  Oh my!!  I get lost trying to pick what to watch there is so many choices.  Even my Law and Order, I'm super happy about the choice to bring Netflix into my home.  I may never leave the house again.  What reason do I have?  Just a report to all my lazy peeps out in the world.

Thank You for Reading

I just wanted to take a second to thank everyone who takes the time to read my blog, no matter how ridiculous it is sometimes.  lol.   I enjoy writing so much and I just hope I connect with someone and maybe help them, even if it is only through laughter.  I have received so much positive feedback on my writings and just want everyone to know how much it means to me.  I may never be a famous writer....  hell, I may not even ever get published.  I am just having so much fun being honest and putting myself out there.  I only hope I reach even one person.  To give another human hope and understanding is sometimes the biggest gift in the world.  I understand and am here to say the bullshit that we go through is totally worth it in the end.
 Have faith that you are doing what's best for you and no one else.
 Be strong knowing that others have been where you are at and they are ok and we all will be ok too.

 Love hard and don't hold back.  We are not promised tomorrow so make sure all the people in your life know how you feel.  Regrets in that department suck, trust me.  That is all for now.  Again thank you all so much!!

Sometimes You CAN'T put it all out there.

I as a writer and blogger have found myself between a rock and a hard place and I don't like it.  I have always considered myself to be a true and honest writer but I now find myself holding back to spare the feelings of others.  I have gone over it in my head a million times and see no way that I can be honest about some things.  It sucks.  I want to put it all out there and scream it from the rooftop but I can't hurt others so I must suffer in silence.
 One of my main reasons for writing is to hopefully connect with people and maybe even help them if they have found themselves in similar situations.  Or if they just need a laugh.   I have a situation that has to remain anonymous and I feel like I am letting people down by not being honest.  How can I connect or help if I can't even be true to myself?   I don't really know what else to say except I am sorry for not being able to put it out there.

 Lesson here is..... Some things are better left unsaid.  Some things are better left well enough alone and the grass is no greener on the other side, it's a fucking mirage, get over it.  Be happy with what you have and don't question why things are the way they are. Just love it, every minute of it.

Sometimes life just sucks.

I don't really have much to say on this one.  Life just really sucks ass sometimes and there's nothing you can do about it.  Just suck it up and move on.  Do you really ever move on?  Does it ever really end?  Ugh, I am so frustrated with the way things go sometimes.  We choose our own path but sometimes we are wrong and it can't be taken back.  I am so angry right now and I don't even know why.  I am sick and tired of being angry.

Take My Advice, Brush Your Damn Teeth!!!

In February of this year my mother so kindly paid for me to go see a dentist.  I haven't been since my insurance ran out when I turned 18.  Anyway, so I had 19 cavities and severe gum disease.  No wonder I was in so much pain.  My awesome dentist sat down with me to work out a plan to fix my mouth.  It was expensive but today was my last appointment for fillings.  Whew.... Since February, I have had a dentist appointment every two weeks and it has sucked donkey balls.  If I just would have brushed my teeth three times a day and ran some floss through them bitches it would've saved me so much bullshit and my mama so much money.  I basically lost my job over this mess because my boss was a dick and he wouldn't work around my appointments, which were mainly in the morning and I worked nights but whatever.  He was an ass anyway.  Point is, all this crap could've been avoided.  And no I didn't lose my teeth because of a drug problem.  I know this is Arkansas but give me some credit.  I was just lazy and put it off and ate lots of sugar.  Not to mention my cherry coke and coffee addiction.  Oh and I smoke too so damn, triple whammy.  I am just glad it is all over and my teeth are pretty and white again.  I will make sure I do the whole check-up and cleaning thing which is all new to me.  I wish I would've gone to the dentist and started a long time ago, just getting a cavity here and there when I financially could.  Way cheaper than this mess was.  I am thankful for my mother for putting up the fundage for this pricey venture, much appreciated mama!!  Now I am ready to conquer the world and get a fucking job with a big ole smile on my face.  So everyone that reads this...... brush your damn teeth, and hit em with some floss!!

Ashton Kutcher on Two and a Half Men?? WTF?? I have an idea though....

So as we all know from past blogs, if you read it..... I am a huge Two and a Half Men fan.  I love the show.  Charlie sheen is crazy,  that is true but he can't be replaced.  CAN'T!!  How the hell are they gonna pull that one off???  I am curious so I will watch just to see but I doubt it will even be close to being as funny as it is with Charlie Sheen.  It did however get me to thinking.  Just for the record, I am an Ashton fan as well,  and he's just goofy looking enough to pull my idea off.  How cool would it be if they had Ashton show up as Charlie's grown and unknown child???  Charlie could freak out and leave to do some thinking and never return.  Then he sends a letter and leaves the house to his new kid and jets to start over on an island of drunken skanks.....  his own personal heaven.  It's a win win.  Alan and the kid can still stay and the drunk womanizing can continue. BAM!!  Your welcome CBS.  

What I have Learned About Relationships with Men. (Still learning)

I am a very happily married woman but it took a lot of bullshit and assholes before I found my prince.  In my opinion, some women need to lower their standards just a little. (I said just a little) don't bring home just any jack ass.  No one is perfect and there will always be something that will irk you about your man.  It's about balance, compromise and communication.  Instead of wasting my time looking for the perfect man, I found a man that is perfect for me!!  Here's my rules that seem to work well for me..... So far.
        In no particular order.

1. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES.  Some things aren't worth arguing over.  I'd rather just pick the damn clothes off of the floor and put them in the hamper myself then say anything.  I am sure he keeps quite about some of the irritating things I do.
2. IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT REALLY COUNT.  Don't get me wrong, I love gifts and flowers as much as the next girl but I would much rather my husband pick me some fresh flowers than buy me some that took no effort except whipping out the wallet.  It makes me happier than anything when he comes up behind me when I am doing something and he just hugs me.  And kisses on the forehead....  Love them!!
3. COMMUNICATE AND LISTEN.  Always take the time to talk about anything.  It's cool to have your secrets, we all do, but when it comes down to it, I know I can talk to him and that is a refreshing feeling.  We talk about our day, our complaints, our worries and concerns. We always know that we love each other.  Never a doubt.
4. NEVER HAVE THE PAST SEX PARTNER TALK. No explanation needed, the past is the past and as long as both people are STD free.... What the fuck does it matter??  I have no idea how many women my husband slept with before me and I have no reason to care.  Anything that happened before me that doesn't affect our relationship now is a non issue.  And everyone lies anyway so why bother?  Besides, does anyone really want to have that talk??  Hell NO!!
5. MAKE TIME FOR ALONE TIME. (IT'S NECESSARY) I love getting in my car with a fountain cherry coke and loud music and my camel filters and driving with no destination in mind. It clears my head and relieves any stress I may be having.  It is very therapeutic.  My husband goes to visits friends without me and he has his things that make him less stressed out.  Some I would rather not think about.  Ewww.  
6. MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER.  Alone time is good but it's always important to make time for each other as well.  I can't count how many concerts my husband has taken me to and he really didn't like the band.  He likes to hike and sweat and shit.  Not my thing but this summer I will be hiking it up sweating tits to do things he likes too.  It's give and take.  
7. HAVE A DATE NIGHT.  Whether it's a fancy place to eat or Burger King in your living room floor on a fake ass make shift picnic table with candles and everything, it is important to eat dinner together and talk.  Maybe even feed each other the sexy stuff.  Do not attempt with Spam.  I tried, there is nothing sexy about coagulated meat product.  
8. HELP EACH OTHER IN EVERYTHING YOU DO.   Any man that will help me use the bathroom because my nails are wet is a winner in my book.  I help him too, if it wasn't for me his nose hairs would have their own area code and let's not even talk about the occasional butt pimple.  He gets mine too.  We make a great team!!
9. BE EACH OTHERS BEST FRIEND.  Self explanatory.  If he's not your best friend..... keep on stepping.  When the looks fade and the wrinkles don't, it's gonna be your conversations and laughter that keep you happy.  Start early.  

EdgeFest 2011 pics

EdgeFest 2011, Seether, Stone Sour, Theory Of a Deadman and more!

 Music!!!

 Drunk girlie talk with my niece.

 Uncle Nick embarrassed of our behavior. lol 

 Beauty runs in our family

 Much Love

 And Peace, or bunny ears!

 My wonderful husband and BFF

 Some say we are weird.  I don't know where they get that idea??

 Kissy Kissy Love

 Some random dudes cool ass shirt.

And nothing like a dude in a tree to make our concert experience complete.

Things I love list

I did a hate list so I guess it's only fair that I complete a love list too.  Just keeping things even around here.  Again.... in no particular order.  (Only because that would require too much thought and I am high).

* Rainbows (colors in the sky without drugs.... SCORE!!!)
* Sticky Notes (Good thing for potheads or forgetful people.) Same difference.
* Toilet Paper (do ya need a reason?)
* Rechargeable batteries (fuck paying for them every time, lazy fuckers, charge them bitches.)
* Iphones (Love it)
* Incense (covers funk or non funk)
* Glitter (a cheating mans worst enemy)
* Animals (they don't judge, lie, cheat, but they will steal your sandwich)
* Flip Flops (as close to barefoot as this hippie can be)
* Ipods (My music when I want.  SCORE!!!!!)
* Things that dangle (think what ya want, you're probably right.)
* Cats (they are some funny motherfuckers)
* Photography (my dream)
* Grand Theft Auto (who doesn't wanna run the fuck over some assholes while jamming out to crazy techno??>>  Exactly.)
* My husband (he is amazing!)
* Notebooks and pens (together they can make magic.)
* Stealing Pens (I'm a addict)
* Magic 8 balls (the deciding factor in many of my sexual encounters, before I was married of course.)
* Roller Derby (bad ass)
* Grocery Carts (imagine carrying all that shit??)
* Text Messaging (maybe I don't want to talk to you)
* Hand Sanitizer (not weird all the time applying it, you people are freaks, some germs are good.)  And you wonder why you're damn kids are sick all the fucking time??>>  Duh, they need some dirt or germs.
* Sports with Violence (I want to see blood!)
* Stealing Random Restaurant Items (only the stuff they expect to get stolen anyway)
* Collecting Shot Glasses
* Velcro (genius)  Laces for lazy people, or dumb asses that can't tie shoes.
* Tattoos (art on bodies?, beautiful.)
* Chap Stick
* Stickers (always cool)
* Shiny and or Sparkly Things
* Quarter Machines (with cool junk in them.)
* Glass Bottle Coke (that stuff is the shit)  I think it has crack in it.
* Balloon Animals (duh, no I am totally easily amused.)
* Cars with Cup-holders
* My Family (Mom's side only)
* Smiling at strangers  (to confuse them mainly)
* Good Movies
* Color Changing Pipes (That other people own)  of course.
* Pink (the color)
* Pink (the artist, she's pretty bad ass too)
* Bic Lighters (hello??  You can wash them and they still work!!)
* Diamonds  (I want a bigger one though.)
* Scoopable Cat Litter  (disappearing poo and pee!!!)  My kind of thing!
* Painting (it's fun to be messy)
* Laser Pointers (just fun)
* Sexy Delivery People (sign where??) lol
* The Loyalty of My Dogs (they love me knowing I'm a fuck up.)
* Hammers (those fuckers are useful)
* Easy Cheese (that's damn near # 1)
* Good Comedy
* Lotion (for dry skin, pervs)
* KY Intense arousal Gel (there you go prevs.)
* Ice Water
* Sweet Tea
* Netflix (movies on demand.... SCORE!!!)
* Men who Manscape  (it's important dudes really)  Besides it makes your junk look bigger.  Not that my man needs it.  In fact, he needs to grow a jungle to hide that trouser snake.
* Concerts
* Good Friends (not fake bitches)
* Blogging  (fun to talk to no one and everyone at the same time.)
* Old Cartoons (foghorn leghorn, the coyote, the good ones!)
* Music (says what you can't sometimes)
* A Good Margarita (patron what??)
* love
* Clicky Ink Pens (screw keeping up with a lid, not my thing.)
* 4 Wheel Drive (makes mud fun.)
* Fountain Sodas (bottle what?)
* Chicklet Gum (yummy)
* Cold Beer
* Converse (classic black)
* Shag Carpet (dirt hides for longer.)
* Hair Ties (totally useful)
* Peanut M&M's  (healthy snack.)  Kinda.

That's all I can think of right off the top of my melon in this mind-state of awesomeness.  
Peace and LOVE to all.

I have NO idea what I want to be when I grow up??

I am in my early thirties.  I feel and act like I am much younger.  I see no problems with the lifestyle choice I have made.  My husband and I are in agreement that we do not want children.  I am mature and dependable and all those important things but when it comes to planning for the future.... I got nothing.  I went to college for a few years off and on.  5 to be exact.  I never found anything that I wanted to do so I dropped out and started managing a restaurant at night.  I loved it and I loved the people.  I miss it terribly.  It got shut down during the economic shit fall of 2008.  I have worked one job since then and it was hard as fuck to even get that one.  I even stooped to the low level of telemarketing I was so desperate.  I won't do that again,  I will sell fruit on the street corner before I spend 5 hours a day getting hung up on or cussed at 80% of the time.   I guess some are destined for greatness and maybe I am too, I'm just pacing myself so I don't freak anyone out. LOL.  Someone has to do the bullshit jobs at gas stations and restaurants.  I accept the fact that it is me.  I am cool with that!  I just thought I was supposed to be doing something better.  Maybe I am, hopefully people will read this crap and realize that pretty much everyone's life sucks the same.... just at different times.  I always thought it would be cool to be a writer and since I can't do that, I will blog my heart out and hope someone sees my quick wit and awesome charm and let me write for them.  I am working on a book about how it's okay to be a nobody.  I have done it just fine for 30+ years and I am still loving life and maintaining valuable relationships while not compromising who I am or embarrassing my family.  I think that is pretty good.  I don't have any illegitimate     children, I'm not on drugs, and I even do random acts of kindness just because it feels fucking great.  My life is pretty amazing considering that some would not be able to handle my life. I love it,  so what if I have no idea what kind of job I want.  If I have learned anything; it is not WHAT you know it is WHO you know.  Sucks donkey balls but it's true.  I know some dumb-ass people that have good jobs and I promise  it's not because they are awesome workers, it's because they know someone already that works there.  Unfair if you ask me, but no one ever does.  I know because I have been one of them.  Bastards.  I'm just jealous that's all.  At least I can admit that. I will get my toe hold in the burger industry, until then I am forced to complain while sitting on my ever growing ass watching Netflix.  Loving me some movies!!

I Loved a Man and then he died. :(

It's odd how a memory, a song, a movie, whatever, can take you back into a moment of time so far away yet it feels so close and so real.  I am watching Romeo and Juliet on Netflex, the Claire Danes and Leo whatever version.  Either way, I remembered when the last time I saw this movie;  it was late 1996 and it had just came out on video and I invited a love interest over to watch it with me.  He actually came over and we had a really great time.  It was the first time that I got up enough nerve to tell him that I loved him.  Only I wrote it backwards on his chest with a Sharpie.  Did he see it when he got home after spending he night in my arms?  I could only hope so.  I never got up enough nerve to tell him for real so I did  the best I could.  I think deep down, he knew that I loved him.  I want to believe that he knew that I loved him.  I hope he knew that I loved him.

It's odd how things shape who we are today.  My first love passed away this coming up April 20th 1999.  It seems like yesterday sometimes.  Though I am now a happily married woman, I know I wouldn't be able to be the wife I am today without the help of that relationship so many years ago.  I miss him dearly and not a week goes by that I don't think about him and wish he was here to be my friend.  I married the right man, things happened the way they were supposed to, except for the part where my friend died.  He wasn't supposed to die.  We were supposed to grow old bitchy friends together.  He bailed, no note, no explanation.  Just unanswered questions. I still hurt, I still cry, I still visit his grave monthly (at least).  And the most awesome thing is that I feel him around me, watching over me, and so does my husband.  At first he wasn't sure but now there is no doubt.  He is with us both, protecting us, loving us both.  When Nicholas and I got married I got my confirmation early that he was the one forever.....  The morning after our wedding, we visited my first loves grave, my Jason, and Nicholas told him that he would take care of me and for him not to worry.  Ever since then then it's like our marriage is protected by a bubble or something.  We are solid as a rock and I love him more than anything.  There must be an afterlife, because I feel it daily.  I love my husband and I love my past love for many different reasons. Everyone has that one special one and I married him for sure.  I am so blessed to have such a loving husband that is proud of the woman I have become because of who inspired me and who hopefully I inspired a little too.

 I miss you Jason.  See ya on  the other side........  Love you.

My Hate List.

In No particular order...

*The entire cast of Jersey Shore

* Judgmental people

*Skinny Jeans

*Getting ass splashed while shitting (booty douche)

*dust

*Finding nail clippings in random places

*Grocery store music

*Politics

*Loud breathers

*Pretty much anything creepy crawly except lady bugs, they are always cool!

*Piss on the toilet seat

*Wal-Mart

* Gravity in regards to age

* Rubik's cube or any other toy that makes me feel dumb

* Waiting rooms

* People that think they know everything 

* Plastic fruit

* thieves

* Fake ass people

* Tweakers

* Getting fired

* Running out of smokes while drinking

* Haters

* Misplaced lighters 

* People that can't take a hint

* Shady people

* Commercials that SCREAM at me

* Rich people who waste

* People that still call shotgun 

* Privileged people that still act like the world owes them something 

* MTV, no music.  Liars.

* Parallel parking

* Butt pimples

* Ugly feet

* Running out of toilet paper

* Cheaters

* Idiots

* Sandals with straps on men (dorks)

* Football, baseball, basketball 

* Operation Repo

That's all I can think of at the moment but I am sure this list will grow and grow!!  

My New Things

Bronco, my new kitty!                                       

Otis my rescue Pit bull!!

 Zippy, my new ride!

Naile, my new Bengal kitty.

My Dreams Turned Into Hobbies. :)

I have always been a dreamer.  When I was little, it was gymnastics and as I got older it was photography.  Those dreams got squashed for one reason or another and now they have turned into hobbies that I just happen to be really good at.  I was pissed about the whole situation at first.  I was mad at myself for not trying harder and I wished I would have pushed myself to do the things that I love.  Instead of the regret that I thought I would feel, I am happy for some strange reason.  I am very fortunate to have had the wonderful experiences that I did.  I was gymnast of the year once, my photos have been chosen for print ads and coffee table photography books, I am blessed.  So I didn't make it to the Olympics, oh well, I can still do a mean double back handspring and at my age, I am just happy I haven't broken a bone yet.  I take my camera everywhere I go and I have a hell of an eye for photography so I am happy with the way things turned out.  The cool thing is, I can do either if I want to and I know that, and that's enough for me.  I am a trained gymnast and photographer yet I am under no pressure to be the best anymore and that is refreshing.  Sometimes dreams are just meant to turn into really kick ass hobbies!!

I have Tattoos but I need a job. Damn it.

I live in the south and as if that wasn't punishment enough I must deal with the daily ridicule of having a few tattoos.  It makes no sense to me, if an old Navy man has an anchor on his arm it's totally okay but just because I haven't fought a war I can't have a tattoo.  Hmmm???  Contradictory much?  I am a good person, I leave a penny instead of taking one, I always let people pull out in front of me while driving, I hold doors open for people at the grocery store, I take in stray animals and the occasional couch surfing friend.  I am nice damn it.  I have worked in the customer service industry since I was 16 years old and consider myself an asset to any job I have.  Unfortunately a few tattoos have some employers concerned about my work capabilities.  Did the ink soak in and make me dumb?  It's not like it says fuck off on my forehead.  I have a few tastefully placed tattoos but you would think that I murdered a family of four and ate their dog or something.  I didn't, just for the record.   My last job was in management at a busy restaurant and I loved it and I was good at it.  Tattoos and all.  It was even a "country" themed place with old people everywhere.  They loved me and could care less if I had a tattoo or not.  Well when the economy did it's back flip that fucked everyone, I lost my job.  That was in 2009.  I graciously accepted unemployment benefits while I looked for a new job.  My benefits ran out yet I am not employed.  I have looked and called and played on-line.  I can't find anything.   I even broke down and joined the evil world of telemarketing,  Yeah, I was desperate.  I worked there and it was pure hell.  I can deal with a bunch of crap but the place I was working was pushing the line.  I got hung up on, cussed at, whistles blown in my ear, you name it, it happened. They let me go after a month.  I have never been happy to be fired but I was that day.  I didn't even cry and I usually do when I get fired.  I am still on the prowl for employment.  Hopefully I will find something soon.  I guess I just want people to not be so judgmental.  It's not cool.  Christians don't judge so stop.  Give people a chance, they might surprise you.

Glee, A Great yet Fake as Fuck Show!!!

Don't get me wrong I am a gleek, I watch every week and I think it is a very good show.  It crosses generations and brings them together.  What other show can you watch while jamming out to some old Journey and still spend time with your kids??  I think the concept is genius and the family time it produces is much needed in todays society.  Too many kids are busy playing video games while life just passes them by.  I am really thankful that I didn't have all the snazzy shit that kids have today.  I enjoyed being outdoors and spending time with my friends.  Back to my point, Glee is a really good show but let's get real people.... none of that shit would happen in real life and I think it's unfair to let kids think that school is really like that.  High school sucks and kids should be aware of that so they can prepare for the bullshit that is to come.  For example the poor wheelchair boy wouldn't be banging the hot Asian chick and the hot guy wouldn't have a crush on the fat girl.  The super cool gay guy is not going to be accepted by the jocks.  It doesn't happen.  Ever.  I hate that it's true but it is.  Kids are mean and spiteful, they aren't nice and supportive as they are portrayed on many shows, not just Glee.  I feel sorry for the brace face fat girl that starts high school and thinks everything will be "gleeful" because it will not be, not even a little bit.  I suffered as a victim of bullying when I was in school because I had braces and freckles.  Oh and don't forget my stutter.  I was a real winner.  There are still a few people I would like to punch in the fucking face but I am a lady so I will refrain.  Point is, these shows are giving fat nerdy kids hopes of acceptance that they will have to fight for more than they know.  Makes me sad.

The only girl that ever made me cry.

First off I am not a lesbian.  Not that I care if you are or you think that I am.  Just putting that out there.  When I was 15 my mom got an opportunity to further her education and get a masters degree in Psychology.  I was scared, apprehensive and terrified of being in a new town knowing not a freaking soul.  We moved the summer before 11th grade, not a good time to make friends.  Hell the groups are already formed, I fit in nowhere.  It sucked.  Bad.  I was lonely and depressed, I didn't know where I was supposed to be.  Sad to say but sometimes in this country we judge, form groups, make others feel like outcasts, all the things we say we do not do.  My junior year sucked, I hung out with whoever would invite me places and was afraid to talk to new people.  I got a job working at Baskin Robbins hoping I would have some kind of human contact.  It was awesome, I ended up getting my own place with a girl I was working with and it was great.  One of my co-workers was super awesome but she was kinda popular so I never thought she would be my friend.  Looking back now, I never knew she would change my life and even my way of thinking.  Her name is Carrie and she is amazing.  We became the best of friends, she introduced me to the coolest music that I still love today.  Without her I would not have such an large amount of Rage Against the Machine cds, books, biographies and so on and so on.  She had such an impact on me.  She even made me a mix-tape before she left and I still have it.  All of our fave songs were on it.  Bad Ass!!!!! I would not be who I am without her.  We had a great friendship and then she broke my heart.  Her family was moving and not like across town.  5 hours away.  To an 19 year old that's a long fucking way.  Just saying.  She was my rock, I could tell her anything.  Then she was gone.  I was immature and I felt like I wasn't good enough, I thought I ran another person off in my life that I loved.  I cried for days, weeks, then just said fuck it, she's gone.  It's like I just tried to block it out because it hurt so bad.  I went to visit her once and she came to visit me once.  It was awesome, we just clicked right back like we had never been separated and I hoped the visits would continue.  They didn't but it was no ones fault, things happen.  I was a douche a couple times when I knew she was in town I didn't make an effort to see her but neither did she.  I guess were both wrong to some degree.  I want our friendship back, I hate that we have lost over a decade of talking and catching up.  I want nothing but to walk outside and see her ass jump out of the bushes.  (inside joke)  I will tack a bloody sock onto my wall.  (another inside joke)
Anyway I have made it my mission to reconnect with her.  I even missed her wedding.  That killed me, I always thought I would be there for that.  She looked so beautiful and happy.  Love looks good on her!!  So hopefully I will get enough money gathered to take a trip to see the only girl that ever made me cry.
Love you Carrie.

Put I.D's on your dogs please assholes!!!!!!!!

I am so tired of finding dogs and some cats lost and when I finally chase them down after what seems like forever, the little bastards have no I.D tag.  Even more dumb than that they will have some pimp ass collar on but no freaking tag.  Are you serious??  These idiots waste the money on a flashy ass collar that serve no fucking purpose if there is no identification on it.  Morons.  I have obtained another dog because of this and it could have been prevented.  I hate Wal-Mart don't get me wrong but they have metal I.D tags for $5.00 people.  Ugh.  I have the ones you write on and then you bake them to shrink them down.  They are fun, cheap, and USEFUL.  And of course I will keep this dog because I am a pussy and he had NO TAGS.  At least I am not like some of these assholes that drop off litter fulls out in the country.  You people suck, I mean you really suck.  You are a waste of perfectly good oxygen and you make me wanna vomit.  Go jump off a building, you won't be missed you piece of shit.  Whew, I feel better.