The only girl that ever made me cry.

First off I am not a lesbian.  Not that I care if you are or you think that I am.  Just putting that out there.  When I was 15 my mom got an opportunity to further her education and get a masters degree in Psychology.  I was scared, apprehensive and terrified of being in a new town knowing not a freaking soul.  We moved the summer before 11th grade, not a good time to make friends.  Hell the groups are already formed, I fit in nowhere.  It sucked.  Bad.  I was lonely and depressed, I didn't know where I was supposed to be.  Sad to say but sometimes in this country we judge, form groups, make others feel like outcasts, all the things we say we do not do.  My junior year sucked, I hung out with whoever would invite me places and was afraid to talk to new people.  I got a job working at Baskin Robbins hoping I would have some kind of human contact.  It was awesome, I ended up getting my own place with a girl I was working with and it was great.  One of my co-workers was super awesome but she was kinda popular so I never thought she would be my friend.  Looking back now, I never knew she would change my life and even my way of thinking.  Her name is Carrie and she is amazing.  We became the best of friends, she introduced me to the coolest music that I still love today.  Without her I would not have such an large amount of Rage Against the Machine cds, books, biographies and so on and so on.  She had such an impact on me.  She even made me a mix-tape before she left and I still have it.  All of our fave songs were on it.  Bad Ass!!!!! I would not be who I am without her.  We had a great friendship and then she broke my heart.  Her family was moving and not like across town.  5 hours away.  To an 19 year old that's a long fucking way.  Just saying.  She was my rock, I could tell her anything.  Then she was gone.  I was immature and I felt like I wasn't good enough, I thought I ran another person off in my life that I loved.  I cried for days, weeks, then just said fuck it, she's gone.  It's like I just tried to block it out because it hurt so bad.  I went to visit her once and she came to visit me once.  It was awesome, we just clicked right back like we had never been separated and I hoped the visits would continue.  They didn't but it was no ones fault, things happen.  I was a douche a couple times when I knew she was in town I didn't make an effort to see her but neither did she.  I guess were both wrong to some degree.  I want our friendship back, I hate that we have lost over a decade of talking and catching up.  I want nothing but to walk outside and see her ass jump out of the bushes.  (inside joke)  I will tack a bloody sock onto my wall.  (another inside joke)
Anyway I have made it my mission to reconnect with her.  I even missed her wedding.  That killed me, I always thought I would be there for that.  She looked so beautiful and happy.  Love looks good on her!!  So hopefully I will get enough money gathered to take a trip to see the only girl that ever made me cry.
Love you Carrie.