Commercialized Holiday's SUCK.

I mean really, do we need an extra day to feel obligated, then feel like shit because we can't follow through???  These damn commercialized holidays all over the T.V reminding us how broke we all are but showing us all the wonderful things we cannot afford on an hourly basis in commercials.  I'm rambling which I tend to do but it really sucks to feel like shit anyway so you watch some boob tube to forget and then see all these damn holiday family commercials.  Ugh, sickening. I am all for spending time with loved ones during the holidays but it shouldn't feel like an obligation.  Then that obligation turns into disappointment real quick because your broke ass can't buy anyone anything.  So what do you do??  It's the though that counts right??  In that case I hope everyone knows that I am thinking of them and am thankful they are in my life.  You don't have to see me to know that.  I want to have a totally basackwards Thanksgiving and Christmas and eat pizza or some shit.  Maybe even turkey pizza.  Hmmm????  Just the hubby and I and a pizza pie.  Sounds fantastic.  Screw you Hallmark.

Weed is illegal. That blows!!!!!

I'm just ranting because I think it is total bullshit that marijuana is illegal.  Are you serious??  Our jails are so overcrowded with this stupid shit that it's nuts.  Our tax dollars are feeding these fools that only wanted to smoke a little weed.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't think people should have mass amounts or sell to kids but damn just a little smoking is fine by me.  How many people die each year from alcohol related shit?  A whole bunch.  How many marijuana related deaths each year do we have?  None that I know of.  Just saying.  A cop even told me that he's never been to a domestic dispute where just weed was involved but has been to countless where alcohol was involved.  Hmmmm???  Again, just saying.  Alcohol is legal and killing people everyday.  Potheads are just chilling talking about shit that they'll never really do because the couch is just so freaking comfortable.  I wanna move to California so bad.  I would have a prescription for sure.  It totally helps with anxiety and creativity.  Both of which are important to me since I have now taken up painting. Anyway just a rant.  Puff puff pass.

Damn T.V Guide Channel & Your Cool Ass Music

I wake up to watch the rolling channel listings searching for something awesome to watch.   It usually takes me a few rotations to catch everything because of those damn commercials at the top.  Ugh.  Well here lately it has taken me more and more rotations to find something to watch and that's because the music they play on that station is amazing.  I mean talk about an awesome flashback of all the good music compiled and set to the rolling  fantasticness of television programming.  I am hooked.  I no longer even use that station to find something to watch.  That's my new jam.  It's the best cleaning music I have found.  This morning they blessed me with Prince and some 80's Janet Jackson.  What more could a girl ask for?  Today will be a good day.  Every day can be a good day if you want it to be.  Oh yeah..... walk like an Egyptian.

Quit being Ignorant, you're pissing me off!

The hubby and I went to the dog park today to let our children run around and play, like they so deserve.  Okay so there was a sign that basically said city ordinance blah blah blah, no "Mean" dogs.  Then there was another sign that said "No Pit Bulls or Pit Bull mixes allowed in park"  What?  Really?  My husband and I have a Stafford shire Terrier which is considered a Pit Bull mix and she is the sweetest dog in the world.  I am so sick of this breed discrimination that is going on.  I don't know how many times I have been walking my Daisy and some ignorant person says in passing, "that's one of those mean dogs.  It is not the dog it is the owner.  Any dog can be made to be mean and it pisses me off when someone stands back to let me pass when I am walking my dog. What I really want to say is, "fuck you ignorant asshole, read the statistics, most dog attacks are made by Golden Retrievers."  Most people don't know that because they haven't taken the time to learn themselves.  Whatever they say on television is true, the papers are right.  No they aren't, they just only report what people want to hear.  My dog Daisy doesn't have a voice so it's my responsibility to give her one.  Don't judge a dog by what breed you think they are.  For one, you may be wrong and for two it doesn't matter anyway, any dog can be mean.  Just in the 2 hours we were at the park 3 dog fights broke out and not one involved a Pit Bull or a mix and there were plenty of both at the park.  I'm just mad, I shouldn't have to take up for a helpless animal that did nothing to anyone.  In fact, poor Daisy is a rescue dog herself.  The first year of her life she was abused and luckily my husband saved her.  I wouldn't trade her for the world, she's like my child.  It kinda hurts when people act afraid of my child. Whatever though, keep letting me pass and make your comments, just know that you are an ignorant ill informed person that sucks!

Daniel Tosh= Funny. Dane Cook = Spaz. You decide.

Daniel Tosh is hilarious, he makes me laugh so hard, my face hurts after watching his show.  If you haven't watched it, I suggest you give it a try.  I have come to realize that a lot of people don't like him or say he's not funny and that's fine.  I think he is so funny.  He makes fun of everyone so no one social class or race can get mad.  Genius I say, make fun of everyone and then there is not anything anyone can do.  Hmmm????  Maybe Daniel Tosh is on to something.  The question arises though..... is he gay?  The world wants to know Daniel.  I really don't care to know.  Being gay won't make him any more or less funny.  It's only my secret sexual attraction to him that spikes my curiosity.  (Yum)  Some people like Dane Cook and I must say that I do not.  He spazzes around the stage all yelling and shit.  It's not funny, it's creepy.  His large amount of face craters take away from any humorousness he may have.  It's a game for real,  when he is on television see how many craters you can count before he does one of his gay spazz routines and spins around all crazy.  He took all the good movie rolls that belonged to Ryan Reynolds (Van Wilder dude).  Crazy thing is, Ryan Reynolds is way sexier than Dane Cook and more talented too but he got the roles that I so pictured Ryan in.  Ooh Dane Cook special is on.... time to crater count.  Break out the booze, every time he freaks out on stage, drink.  He might actually be funny after drinking yourself into a coma. Daniel Tosh is always funny.

Go away, it's Saturday

Saturdays are supposed to be relaxing and chill but not mine.  Not today anyway. I awoke to crazy thunder and lightning.  That's okay Except for the fact that my Internet was out and my cable too.  What is a girl to do without both of my morning rituals taken away.  Damn it.  Then everyone and their brother decided to descend upon our home bringing their children and dogs.  I'm not even playing, kids a running, dogs a butt sniffing and my head about to explode.  Yay on this today.  Really??  I really hate when people show up unannounced especially toting irritating kids that scream and run around my house.  We are not a kid friendly house, I mean decoration wise.  I like kids, don't get me wrong but I guess I require a notice, preferably written.  Everywhere you look in our home it's cool shit that kids like but it's breakable, so don't touch.  I guess I need to baby proof the house someday.  Not today damn it.  

My Eggs are dumb.

I've been researching donating or selling my eggs and it turns out, you have to be a college graduate to do that.  What??  So my eggs are dumb?  This makes no sense to me, just because I didn't finish college doesn't mean I am a dumb ass and my eggs are any less useful than the next persons.  I only wanted to help others achieve the awesomeness of parenthood if they couldn't on there own.  I have no intentions of using my eggs so why not give the gift of life to someone?  Oh that's right, I don't have a college degree.  My eggs are no good.  This bothers me so much.  How do your under carriage parts define your degree of intelligence or the smarts you may or not pass on through genes?  I'm no scientist and I may not be the smartest person in the world but you don't need to be Einstein to have a heart and want to help others.  Well I guess you do.  

Damn Internet Games

Those damn Internet games are evil I say, pure evil.  They suck you in with there cool graphics and neat looking avatars.  You start playing, designing your little farmer, baker, mafia killer or sorority slut and it's so much fun.  Then all of the sudden it's build this, you need neighbors for this, make this, collect this, and then the oh my God send me this I only need one and I am done.  It's so frustrating, they took the fun out of my farming.  I loved setting up my land, tending my crops and harvesting animals. Now it's ten days to build my damn stable and I have to get my friends involved in this mockery of gamage by asking them to be my neighbor and send me a brick while you're at it.  Zynga and Facebook own our asses and it's not even funny.  They got my butt on a schedule now with this puppy I just spent $300.000 on.  Can you believe I have to feed it once a day or it runs away and I am labeled a puppy abuser and can't get another one from Farmville.  Locked it says, one only.   Assholes.  I am hooked though, can't talk too much shit, I am a master farmer and can plan my crops perfectly to my busy schedule of holding down this couch.  I do know some people that will remain nameless (mom) that need a hobby or something constructive to do.  Knitting perhaps?  I could use a new sweater.  That woman has like nine accounts and comes home from work and runs straight for her fish tank, cafe, farm, island and don't forget her store.  It's insanity I say.  On a good note it gives my bored ass something to make me feel accomplished so back off my stupid Internet games.  I got a nice looking farm, don't be hating.  Just don't let them run your real life, unless you never had one to begin with then fuck it, play on!  If you do have a semi life then enjoy it and don't get sucked in so far that you can't be found.  Happy Playing!!

Famous?? For What?

I am watching In Session on Tru T.V.  There is not much on this early.  I am so sick of these "famous" people getting out of shit that a person like myself would be stuck paying for, dealing with and getting over.  These so called famous people just pay up and get their publicist to say something nice and make it all go away.  Yet I am still paying out the ass for a D.U.I I stupidly got once, never before nor since have I been in any trouble but I still pay.  Stupid ass Paris Hilton, don't even get me started on her trashy tail.  Why is she even famous?  What did she do?  Oh yeah, she made a sex tape and leaked it then said oops, feel bad for me.... but go buy my tape.  Please, she's famous for being a slut.  Way to go.  Look at her sister Nikki, we don't hear bad stuff about her because she is either just smarter than Paris and doesn't get caught or she doesn't do anything stupid.  One will never know.  And this Snookie bitch on Jersey Shore getting in trouble for being drunk and stupid in public.  Her trial is at one today, I'm sure MTV's lawyers are on stand-by.  The only person on this show that actually has talent and is throwing it away is Lindsay Lohan.  This girl has talent yet she keeps fucking up.  I kinda feel sorry for her, she seems to at least want to change.  Her parents on the other hand are crazy as ten miles of bad road, they just know the promise of talent in Lindsay and they want her money, plain and simple.  Her father is always going on about this new show he wants to do, or this show.  He is a money hungry man that cares nothing for his daughter.  Where is the little sister?  Does she not have any talents?  Can they not bother her and leave Lindsay alone.  Maybe they see no dollar signs in the younger daughters eyes.  Sad.  I'm waiting to see some real famous people on here.  This is one crazy world.

I Got Caught Rummaging at the Hospital.

So I had to take my husband to the hospital the other day for his reoccurring kidney stones, fun fun.  Once he got all settled in and doped up, I went for my usual hospital stroll, you know to check out the horribly ugly art on the walls and read every door to be nosey.  I made my rounds and decided to end my journey with a piss break.  I enter the bathroom, lock the door and handle my biz.  As I finish, I notice a cabinet.  I love snooping in hospital cabinets, I don't take anything except for the occasional gloves and that scissor set I REALLY needed.  So I go for the first drawer..... pee cups. Close and move on. Drawer number two, no whammy's no whammy's......... damn it, blood holder thingies.  Drawer number three, come on, don't let me down....... empty.  Really?  Nothing did they need in that drawer?  Guess not.  The disappointment sets in then I notice it has doors at the top.  YAY.... one last chance for snooping happiness.  I open the door hoping for a blanket or four.  (damn cold hospitals) Anyway as the door opens I see a nurse staring back at me...... oh shit, it's the fluid pass through portal.  Not what I was expecting at all.  I immediately tried to explain myself, "I am just a snooper not a stealer" I say.  She just looked at me and smiled and said "Oh honey it happens on the time".  Thank the Lord she was cool with my habit or hospital rummaging.

I am a boxer brief girl now!!

As a female I am always searching for new ways to keep my panties out of my ass crack.  All this yanking and trying to discretely dig in your butt has got to stop.  I have found the cure and no it's not going commando, which in my opinion is just gross and it feels funny.  Anyway I was shopping and stumbled across boxer briefs for women, I know I know, they have "boy shorts" that have been out a while but there is a big difference my fellow booty picking friends.  I bought a couple pairs to try them out and oh my gosh, no turning back now.  I even went back for enough to wear a pair everyday.  They are amazing, I haven't reached back there once to pull on nothing.  I will be a boxer brief girl forever now.  Hope they come in granny pantie size because I see us having a long awesome relationship.  I do have one complaint, just a small one.  I believe in equality and my husbands boxer briefs have a hole in them to pee, scratch, whatever.  Mine however, do not have such a hole and I must say, I am a little disappointed and feel left out.  I might want to scratch down there, but no Hanes does not agree with my request.  I will get over my missing hole because these undies get a two thumbs up.  Four if you count the hubby, he says they are sexy. So get out and grab you some, your happiness with a wedgie free life depends on it.

Two & a Half Men is a Funny Ass Show

I don't care how many DWI's, hookers, infidelities, wife beatings, and any other moral issue Charlie Sheen has.  That is one funny man and that show would be shit without him.  I wasn't a watcher til a couple years ago and I am sorry it took me so long to jump on that shit,  It it funny as hell.  I get lucky every once in a while and find a rerun that I haven't seen, but I watch it and laugh my ass off regardless.  My favorite character on the show is Berta, the housekeeper to those living under a rock.  She is another person that makes that show, her smart ass attitude and general disposition is hilarious.  The writers of that show are awesome and never cease to amaze me.  There are not many reruns I will watch (except Family Guy, King of the Hill) but Two and a half men is so funny it's like exercise, it will make your stomach hurt.  Screw you sit ups, I got a funny show to watch!

My first Painting

First Painting Ever!!

You can do anything you want if you set your mind to it.  It doesn't hurt to have the support of a loving husband as well.  Speaking of my husband, he is a great artist and amazes me daily with his talent.  I was intrigued and mentioned to the hubby that I would like to try and paint something.  He was totally with me and encouraged me to sketch an idea and then just run with it.  So I did.  Of course he was by my side to answer any questions I may have had, and I did.  He was awesome, as usual.  So I painted my first painting and now I am hooked.  I can't wait to paint another one and I have so many ideas running through my head.  Don't get me wrong, photography is my first love and always will be.  Besides I am no Picasso but I don't think it's that bad for a paint virgin. Point is, if you want to do something and you have doubts...... throw them out of your mind  and go for it.  You never know, you may be really good at it or totally suck but have a blast.  Either way, it's a win win.  My first painting is posted above.  It's how I feel my life goes sometimes, I see that bright colored door but when I open it it's another damn brick wall.  AHHH!!  Will it ever end?  Of course, it always does.  We just forget that while it's going on.  Then it's over and were all like, whew that was close. Rinse and repeat.  Ha ha.

Photography is everything to me.

Dreams

Ever since I was a little girl I have toted a camera with me everywhere I went.  When I was younger and teachers would ask that all to familiar question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"  I would always answer, "I'm going to take pictures for National Geographic."  It was all I ever thought about, I would dream about how one day I would be lying in some tall grass waiting on that perfect shot of a Leopard or a cool ass monkey.  Things don't always work out as planned as some of us know.  All I can do now is make the best of how my life has turned out and never give up on my dream, just tweak it a little bit. So maybe I won't work for National Geographic but I can still do what I love..... without pay.  Doesn't make me love it any less.  I wish still that someday, one day, any day, someone somewhere anywhere will see my pictures and love them as much as I do.  Maybe they would see the future in them that I do.  They have a bigger purpose, I know they do.  I am one in a million in a sea of photographers that want, crave to be noticed.  All I can say is NEVER give up.  No matter how many other dreamers are swimming around you...... Stand out.

Jersey Shore is the Dumbest Show EVER!

 Jersey Shore!!!   Really????  Anything but that, anything.  I would rather have my toenails ripped out one by one than watch this stupid waste of television air-time.  In the ten minutes that I have watched this show, all these little whores have done was fuck, fight and cry.  This makes me wanna vomit, they all look like giant oompa loompa's with there spray orange tan and fake hair.  OMG, I wanna die. I think it is a disgrace that people actually watch this show.  Again here we are glorifying this bad behavior in our youth.  Don't worry kids you can get famous by being a douche bag and fucking every girl in sight, then just dump them and make them feel like the used trash that they are. And the girls on here are a disgrace to women everywhere but especially Jersey Shore.  They act, dress and look like your average streetwalker.  Way to go Jersey Whores, hey that should be the new name. The earrings they wear are big hoops....... we all know about sluts with big hoops.  If you don't, I will fill you in..... The Jersey Whores ALL wear big hoops so at the end of the night, they will have somewhere to stick their legs.  Whores!  Enough of my time wasted on a stupid show for stupid people!

Fairy Tale Love

Just a random rant from the heart, literally.  I just wonder if people have really given up on that fairy tale love??  I see so many of my friends with dicks so I guess so.  Anyway, I used to be such a pessimist but finally with patience I have that kind of love now.  The kind of love that NO matter what, you make time for each other.  Even if it is only for ten minutes, five minutes.... anytime!!!!  Life is short and we get so caught up in what is going on around us that we neglect what is right in front of us.  I am so blessed to be in a healthy happy relationship and we have that can't go a day without seeing each other kind of goofy love.  We text loving messages throughout the day when were apart and it is awesome!!  I see other people's relationships become so routine and mundane.  They are forgetting why they fell in love in the first place.  Everyone needs to remember that nothing in this world is guaranteed,  not a thing.  So when all is said and done at the end of the day, all we really have in this world is each other.  It's time to treat people better and respect their feelings, there's already enough drama and fighting in the world to add to it.  Wake up each morning and think to yourself, what can I do today to make my significant other smile??  It's the simple stuff that really matters.  My husband and I try to make our relationship fun, we have prank wars sometimes and we play board games together at least twice a week.  He is so sweet, he wakes up first and makes coffee and brings it to me in the bed, we visit and drink our coffee then it's off to work he goes.  I adore our twenty minutes together in the morning, wouldn't trade em for nothing.  I'll shut up now but please everyone, remember the Golden Rule....  "Treat others as you want to be treated."  The world could be an awesometastic place!!

Weeding your People Garden.

I have always known that people in general are nutty but here recently I have learned that some people are just plain crazy, like loony, nutty, need a check kinda crazy.  Friends are great to have, I wouldn't change mine for the world, but we are not obligated by anyone to like another person and frankly shouldn't be friends with anyone that you just don't mesh well with.  I used to have a lot more friends than I do now and it used to bother me but come to find out, I just weeded out the bad ones.  Not that they were bad people, just life paths have changed and we went different directions.  I have no ill thoughts of my used to be friends, I wish them nothing but the best.  The friends I have now would do anything for me and they got my back no matter what dumb decision I may make.  That's the things with friends, they aren't perfect, it's about balance.  I may not like some of my friends habits but I love them so I choose to overlook some things.  On the other hand though if you have people that say they're your friend but act a different way..... Take a hint, they are using you.  I don't keep score when I do things for my friends but I wouldn't be human if I didn't have a tab running in my brain.  Ya know?  Another crazy thought.......  Out of all the friends I have now, only one of them is from high school.  One!!  She is awesome though, glad I kept her around. Seriously my friends I have now are all newbies in a way.  I have known them all less than 2 years, but they know me better than the friends I had for years and years.  cool thing is, they love me for me and wouldn't change anything.  I'm glad I weeded my people garden, it needed it.  Whew... I was getting overgrown with craziness.  Now it's just making sure I can keep this balance going without compromising my beliefs.  That's where it gets tricky.  I will not, I repeat NOT help anyone who doesn't want to help themselves.  I have to surround myself with good vibe people and here lately I have questions.  Not about my friends but my friends so called friends.  Morally these people are just wrong and I won't hang out with shady selfish people.  So what do you do when your friends are???  I guess just keep my opinions to myself and let them learn themselves that who you hang out with makes an impression on others..... I don't want anyone to think I am a drug dealing thug therefore I wouldn't hang with anyone that was doing that.  Have people forgotten about guilt by association??  I know it's not right but it still happens so until people stop judging so damn much we gotta filter our friends and make sure we are making the right decisions for us and our friends.  I'm rambling again.  I do that a lot!!

I'm feeling kinda groovy today.

Today was one of those days where nothing went as planned but still ended up being an awesome day none the less.  I'm getting better at this whole good attitude thing, it seems to be working.  Even when things are crappy I just think happy thoughts and the day doesn't suck as bad.  What a concept?  I've been hearing about it for years but never gave it a shot.  No time like the present.  My car is falling apart and barely got me across town before it said "screw you, I will die every time you stop me", and it did.  I got her home and left her where she stopped after dying and coasting into the driveway.  I didn't even get mad, oh well it's just a car.  Then when the husband came home he looked at it and it's something halfway simple to fix.  See, my positive attitude worked.  A year ago I would have cussed to high noon, kicked the shit out of my car then slammed the door when I got in the house, still muttering bullshit.  I am so proud.  I am starting to think Karma plays a bigger role in life than I once thought.  I sure am being nice to people, some that don't even deserve it and the good vibes are coming back to me.  I think I will keep this up and see where it goes.  Now the husband is asleep on the couch next to me and he is so cute.  Even when he snores, it's adorable.  I am so lucky.

Hurt by Nine Inch Nails

What have I become? -- My sweetest friend.  Everyone I know goes away in the end.

You could have it all, my empire of dirt. -- I will let you down, I will make you hurt.

Full of broken thoughts, I cannot repair.

Beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear.

You are someone else.

I am still right here.

I am only me.

Path to ......

I am far from being a perfect person but the truth is, I wouldn't even want to be.  I long for fulfillment in my life, not with material things but the simple pleasures most people forget about. ------The wind in my hair as I swing as high as I possibly can without that scary chain jerking sound, or when I realize how beautiful the leaves are on a tree that I have driven by a hundred times, too busy to appreciate its free gift of color for me.  I want to look back upon my life years from now and not be ashamed.  I would like to think that with each new obstacle introduced to me I am becoming a better person while learning to enjoy this life I have been blessed with.  My main desire is to become a more courageous, kinder, passionate and stronger woman.  Right now that is enough for me!

Family sucks sometimes

My father left when I was 4 and hasn't been in my life in years, wait in forever.  He remarried, had 2 more children and said the hell with me.  He takes care of his other kids, never once have I even received a card on my birthday or even a fu*k you.  People are crazy these days, you don't have a kid if you don't want one.  If you do have one then you make sure they are taken care of and safe.  I don't think I have ever felt completely safe.  Thanks pops, you're a real gem.  Asshole.

Movie Quotes I Love

"Sometimes we hold onto the things that God himself is trying to tear apart"

~~Diary of a Mad Black Woman

"Love is stronger than any addiction.... hell it is one"

~~Diary of a Mad Black Woman

"Loss only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself"

~~Good Will Hunting

"Advertising has us working jobs we hate to buy shit we don't need"

~~Fight Club

"Life is a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes, so I take the pleasure in the details"

~~Reality Bites

"We don't choose our music, it chooses us, it lives in our cars, on our ipods and in our hearts"

~~Almost Famous

I just realized I learned all bad things from T.V

My Old Crew from back in the day.
We have since all gone separate ways. :(

So it's early and I am awake.  I don't usually watch t.v in the morning because there isn't shit on. This morning however I decided to revisit my childhood and check out some Fresh Prince. I watched it every morning before school and never really payed much attention I suppose.  Well, this morning the episode was about Will taking pills to help him stay awake and nearly killing Carlton. Remember everyone?  Anyway, looking back I remember thinking, "I'm not dumb like Carlton, I could take some stay awake pills and be cool". So did my subconscious tell me as I got older that it was okay??  Hmmm??  Before The Fresh Prince I knew nothing about drinking or partying.  Don't get me started on them lil whores on saved by the bell, same thing.  Kelly took a bunch of pills, what's her face that no one cared about had a drinking problem.  Just saying.  The television shows  I watched as a kid were horrible really, I just didn't know it.  The shows on today are even worse, I mean everyone on the show under 17 is knocked up and everyone on the show over 40 is with a 20 year old..... this must be very confusing for children.  So glad I don't have any and am not one anymore. The list could go on and on. But I however cannot.  Just an observation post really.  Anybody with me on this?  Can you name some more shows with this underage glorifying of bad behavior??  Wait doesn't MTV have a show called 16 and pregnant?  Ooooh, What's a girl gotta do to get on that show?  Oh wait get knocked up and ruin your future, unless you have rich parents that will take care of you and your bastard, because the child will be, because Daddy will bail. All those shows about teen pregnancy if you pay attention, the rich little cheerleader's mom just took care of the kid all the time so she could party.  Not the poor girl, her ass was sitting on her tattered couch watching an antenna t.v playing with hand me downs from a church with her child.  Big difference.  I am rambling now.  Really.

I don't feel nothing (when I used to drink)

Poetry is a great way to express yourself when you think no one else cares, as long as you still do..... It's all good!!!!


I don't feel nothing when you are around.
You take all my pain to a secret place that can't be found.

I don't feel nothing when you embrace me like no other.
You fill me with joy and with every drop of you, I hide from another.

I don't feel nothing when you are inside of me.
You take away all the hurt and pain - it's then I can finally see.

I don't feel nothing when I awake alone and cold.
I can always count on you to be close enough for me to hold.

Maybe one day I'll look at myself and finally see something.
Until then, I don't feel nothing.