Life, Death and Drugs Made me who I am.

This is a true fact, if you  have a life then you have no reason to sit in front of a computer spatting nonsense for other people who have no life to read.  It's a vicious cycle of losers.  I have no life, it is a Sunday night, the night before my 7th wedding anniversary and I am typing nonsense about my stupid life.  I used to be normal, death and drugs have left me a dark lonely soul with no plans for the future because we are not promised a tomorrow so why bother?  That is why I have no friends.  No one understands me.  I don't like to make friends because I know I will just let them down with the person that I am.  The friends that I lost knew me before I was the nutcase that I am now, they didn't care to  understand me or even bother to try.  I used to be fun and outgoing.  On the weekends, I went to clubs and acted a fool.  I had lots of friends and we hung out and did things.  I am not sure exactly what happened but I changed.  My first love killed himself in 1999 and it fucked me up.  I started drinking way too much, I would do any drug you put in front of me, as long as it was free.  I wasn't a very happy person for a long time.  I stopped making plans, I said fuck it to my future and did whatever the hell I wanted.  I would pay for that choice forever.