I was Considering an Annonomous Blog but Decided Fuck it, You can Handle it.

I am Polite as Fuck!

I have always wanted to be a writer, any kind, I don't care.  I started this blog with the pure hope that someone, anyone would notice me, think I was witty, want me to write for them and pay me to do so.  Well that has not happened and in all reality, it won't happen.  So fuck it, shit is going to get real.  I am tired of hiding behind who I am and who you want me to be.  There is no middle ground.  I don't care about followers or views.  I just want to be honest.  I am a woman who is confused, married, hurt, scared, and so many other emotions flowing around like craziness in my head.  I have lost some of the best people that I will ever know and loved to suicide, my mother to cancer, and myself to the world.  I am terrified of what will come next.  I don't plan, because I am afraid that I will just let people down if I can't stick to it.  I have lost all of my friends for a stupid reasons.  I was a whore when I was younger, I had one night stands with people that I didn't know, I did lots of drugs and did a lot of stupid shit.  I have always loved sex, I have never been good a relationships of any kind.  I am afraid of commitment yet I am married.  I am totally fucked up.  Hope you are ready for some brutal truths.