Journaling to Blogging to Dreaming.

I have been writing in journals since I was a little girl.  I had around 15 notebooks all full of my secrets, dreams and lies.  When I turned 25 I decided to burn all of them, I was embarrassed at some of the decisions I made and was terrified that I was going to die. Then everyone would be able to know my innermost feelings.  Some of my entries were at very vulnerable times in my life and I probably should not have written half the stuff that I did.  I watched my history go up in flames with a feeling of a thousand weights being lifted off of me.  It wasn't until my thirties that I wished I would have kept some of them, just a couple maybe.  Well now here we are with the internet at our finger tips,  I SO hoped that I could reach more people with a blog and express my feelings even more.  That hasn't been the case thus far and I have been blogging for 5 years.  I am back to my journaling again, with no plans of burning these. I only wish I would have kept the ones from my childhood, they were raw, real and unmerciful.  The stupid shit I did when I was a kid might actually help someone now, I was a mess.  I still am a mess but I have accepted my fate and am more determined than ever to have someone, anyone, find something for themselves in the words that I write. I am a writer, no plan B, this is it.