Prince, the Death of an Icon. The Media needs to Stop the Bullshit.

So many of us grew up listening to Prince, our parents listened to Prince, hell everyone listened to Prince.  His music was amazing, his lyrics were memorable and his voice was undeniable.  His videos were cinematic and gorgeous.  He had us crying listening to "Purple Rain" and dance our asses off listening to "1999".  Everyone loved Prince and in my eyes he had a huge impact on race in our society.  African Americans could relate to him and so could white people.  His music spoke to everyone and he will be widely missed. 

Now to my complaint, the media has come forward today saying that prescription drugs were found at his home at the time of his death.  Ok, think about that for a minute................................................OK times up.  Everyone who dies has prescription  drugs in their home.  EVERYONE!!  Even if it's just antibiotics.  That is a prescribed drug.  It pisses me off that the media would even bother to mention that.  The media hopes and prays that they find something bad in Prince's home because then they have a story and get paid more.  So basically "just in case" they go ahead and report that there were prescription drugs at his home and they sit back and wait for the autopsy report to see if they have a story.  It is pure bullshit.  Prince was a good man, he was never accused of raping children, dealing drugs, hell he was never in the news for any scandal.   Michael Jackson however was a piece of shit baby raping creep but as soon as he died, everyone seemed to forget what a fuck head he was and all of the horrible things that he did.  What the fuck, hello... I can't be the only one that finds that fucked up? The media should be ashamed of themselves for talking shit about a dead man.  Simple as that.

Honesty Hour. Who am I?

Who is this writer that hides behind this computer screen?  I love honesty and I am not ashamed of  the person that I have become, even though most people would think that I have nothing.  I am 37 years old and have been happily married for 6 years.  My husband and I are living with his mother right now because we hit hard times.  I haven't worked in almost 2 years and am absolutely terrified to get a job due to my anxiety and depression.  My mother passed away almost 4 years ago and I have never been the same.  I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I am doing better thanks to my amazing psychiatrist.  I stay home most of the time and hang out with my mother-in-law during the day and my husband at night when he gets home from work.  I don't have a vehicle so I am confined to this house even if I wanted to go anywhere.  I watched my car get hooked to the tow truck and taken out of my front yard.  I was crushed but it was my fault, I lost my job and had no way to pay for it any longer. I just want to be honest about who I am.  I am a writer so I usually blog about what's going on in the world, entertainment opinions, I think I even did 2 movie reviews on here, lol. I also want to write about the real world, it's rarely rainbows and butterflies.  I have been through so much that I should be honest and tell my readers the truth:  I have lost 2 people that I loved to suicide, I lost my mother to cancer, I found my grandma dead when I was 10, my father isn't in my life and doesn't want to be, he had two replacement kids and said fuck me and my sister.  Oh, I have a sister who is 6 years older than me and we hate each other.  I practically raised my niece so that whore could finish school but I am the shitty one. My niece and I were very close and she married a jackass that hates me so guess what, I don't see her at all.  Icing on the cake of shit... she has a daughter now so I have a great niece that I will never know.  Both sets of my grandparents are gone, I have no family besides my husband.  Holidays are sad for me because I miss our big family dinners. I am not playing the victim nor do I want to be seen as one.  I only want to put myself out there and be who I really am. 

DIY inspirational picture.

Journaling to Blogging to Dreaming.

I have been writing in journals since I was a little girl.  I had around 15 notebooks all full of my secrets, dreams and lies.  When I turned 25 I decided to burn all of them, I was embarrassed at some of the decisions I made and was terrified that I was going to die. Then everyone would be able to know my innermost feelings.  Some of my entries were at very vulnerable times in my life and I probably should not have written half the stuff that I did.  I watched my history go up in flames with a feeling of a thousand weights being lifted off of me.  It wasn't until my thirties that I wished I would have kept some of them, just a couple maybe.  Well now here we are with the internet at our finger tips,  I SO hoped that I could reach more people with a blog and express my feelings even more.  That hasn't been the case thus far and I have been blogging for 5 years.  I am back to my journaling again, with no plans of burning these. I only wish I would have kept the ones from my childhood, they were raw, real and unmerciful.  The stupid shit I did when I was a kid might actually help someone now, I was a mess.  I still am a mess but I have accepted my fate and am more determined than ever to have someone, anyone, find something for themselves in the words that I write. I am a writer, no plan B, this is it. 

ABC's Nashville Stars seen at the Clarion Hotel!!... by ME!! Stoked!!

I don't know if I have even admitted my love for the television show Nashville on ABC, but I will do it now.  A friend introduced to me the show during the end of season two and I was hooked.  I power watched season one online and got caught up on season two.  I then took a trip to the city of Nashville itself and realized that I have been missing some really good music because I didn't even give country music a chance.  Now don't get me wrong, I love the classic country and always have.  I stopped listening around 1997 when I went through my Nine Inch Nails phase and never came back. Country music has changed a lot since Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, Merle Haggard and the other greats of that time.
I stayed at the Clarion hotel and while I was coming down to have a drink and I noticed a fuss at the front door.  I soon found out why and was so happy to see my two favorites from the show.  They were filming in Nashville and staying at the same hotel as I. Over peoples heads and between legs of the other crazed fans, I took the best pictures that I could considering my location. I didn't get pictures of everyone but I tried.  Pictured above is Scarlett O'Connor played by Clare Bowen right after she cut her hair and before the show aired of her new hairstyle.  Gunnar Scott played by Sam Palladio stands outside of the bus cool and calm.  I was so excited, I was like a little girl seeing her hero for the first time.  Because of this amazing show, my love for country music has not just returned but has become almost an obsession to catch up on what and who I missed.  Clare Bowen's voice is amazing and when she sang "Black Roses" to her mom in that one episode, I was in love... Girl crush.  :)
On the show they are not together anymore and are in a band called the X's, fitting of course but I would love to see them get back together, eventually.  They are like the young version of Rayna and Deacon and I think it's awesome that the show is playing out that way. When Scarlett and Gunnar sing together it is remarkable. I loved it when Gunnar wrote that song about Scarlett "It's not yours to throw away", WOW.  It was powerful, moving and beautiful.  The lyrics of almost every song tells a story and that is what I missed about country music.  It tells a story and resonates in your soul. I'm back to my country roots thanks to Nashville the town and Nashville the show.

Chatting it up with a duck

https://youtu.be/zjX1PEVWmZk

DIY---- Insult Cards, Memes, Lyric cards, Quotes, and More.

Everyone loves the pictures that we see on Facebook and Instagram with the cool ass picture with some cool edgy quote on it.  We have all seen the inspirational ones that make us want to actually do something, then we don't, it happens.  Then we have seen the ones bashing people and that's funny so you save a few of those for when a friend is being a bitch, your ass is armed. Well I was tired of saving those pictures to express how I felt, so I thought duh why aren't I just making them myself as needed instead of storing a shit load of the feelings pics or the fuck you pics on my phone or laptop.  Don't feel alone, I did it.  I saved them in my phone until the moment arises that I want to blast on Facebook and then BAM...I got a cool ass picture to say how much I hate you right now, or you're a slut and I hope you realize that this post is for you and you see it, bitch. LOL. 
Instructions:
In the style of DIY, you simply edit the perfect photo for the words that you want expressed and then post that bitch to the according site where such ho will see said post.   Viola..... You are done, be proud and just think....you even stayed original.  Extra Points.  :)    If you do not have a photo that sends the right message then just take one and repeat steps above.

I took a picture of a dog turd, get creative and have fun. I did one with a dark moon and cloud picture and used one of my favorite song lyrics for my chosen words.  (Nine Inch Nails)  It doesn't have to be a shitty one, you can use songs, poetry, famous quotes, or piss people off.  You're staying original and that in itself is cool. 

Life After Losing My Mama (poetry)

My Mama always told me that I had the gift of flying by the seat of my pants, no matter the circumstance.

I was happy, carefree and never worried about taking that chance.

My Mama left this earth before her time, my heart was broken and I knew my life would never be the same.

I was emotional, angry and a huge mess, looking in every direction for anyone to blame.

My search didn't get me anywhere, only in circles and then back to the start.

Now my gift feels more like a curse, turns out I'm only human and I'm totally falling apart.

Miley Cyrus & Adam Levine Fueding already while Filming Season 11.

As you all know, The voice is and has been one of my favorite shows, like since the beginning.  It was fresh, new and honestly, there nothing else like it on TV.  It gave us hope that everyone would now get a fair chance to sing and nothing could be judged but their voice.  Finally a chance for everyone.
Anyway as everyone knows Christina comes and goes every other season or so and they have a guest judge.  This season (10) Miley Cyrus was a mentor and she did a wonderful job in my opinion.  Let me throw this in too because I think it should be said, I am not a Miley Cyrus fan.  I like a handful of her songs and I think she pulls stupid stunts to get attention. Irony at it's best, it works for her.  The crazier the shit she does the more people talk about her.  With that being said, I do think she is ballsy, bad ass and doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks and that makes her cool in my book.  Hell in the 80's we had Madonna, what's the difference?  Ok back to the story, Miley did such a great job mentoring on season 10 that they asked her to be a judge on next season's show (11).  Obviously she said yes and filming has already started.  Adam Levine has reportedly said when asked about  working with Miley, that she is "annoying".   I am an Adam fan and have also been a long time fan of Maroon Five.  I am disappointed that Adam would say something so petty and mean.  That is just uncalled for. Be the bigger person, damn she's only 23, I bet Adam Levine was a dick hole when he was 23.  I think he feels threatened because she is such a more relevant artist right now.  Get it together Voice people, we really want  to think that the judges actually like each other.  This will be an interesting next season and I will have updates on this ridiculous story as it develops.

Battered Woman Comeback (Poetry)

I just want you to know that I don't hate you anymore.  There is nothing I could say that I haven't thought before.

Torn apart, thrown to the floor, left to die on the stairs like a whore. 

Arguments over bullshit, lies for no reason, I laughed so hard when I found out that your child was conceived during a threesome.

Karma is a bitch and I know it was never me.  Thank God that I left you and since then I've been free.

The scars on my face that you left behind, only fuel me to help others to not be so blind.

Undying Love (Poetry)

I loved you from the moment that our eyes first met.
From the beginning of our friendship to the blossoming of our love, my life was set.

We had our ups and downs, our highs and lows but no matter what you were part of my soul.
Our relationship ended but the friendship remained whole.

Years passed and we both went our separate ways, we found our true love in another place.

Sometimes I dream of you, it feels so real. For those short minutes my heart tries to heal.

Then I awake and realize that you're still gone, my heart breaks all over.

Almost 20 years of friendship can never be erased, so many great memories that I thankfully embrace.

Life is fleeting and time can be very cruel and unkind. So keep your loved ones close because what is done you cannot rewind.

Picking up Pieces (poetry)

Everything around me seems to be falling apart, wherever I look pieces of my heart is all that I can see.

A chunk from losing my mom, a scrap here in there from lost loves, a piece from my unachieved dreams, and a few parts from fake friends.

Where do I begin to repair all that is damaged, I've hidden my pain for so long but I'm ready to get my shit managed.

I can't go any longer living this way, being fearful of my own dream and what people might think. Fuck it, It's time to let my light shine and finally work on my self-esteem.

Time to get back into this world that I have missed, leave the past where it belongs and finally, truly exist.