Finding Happiness Within. Part One

I am 36 years old and I am just now trying to figure out this happiness thing.  People say that you have to have happiness from within yourself to show happiness on the outside.  I used to call bullshit but as I sit here the unhappiest that I have ever been in my life, I guess it's time to try something different.  Most of the time I am anxious, nervous, lonely, scared, sad, depressed and pissed off.  It's so draining to feel all of the things that I feel so it's time to pull these layers of shit back one by one and figure out why I suck so bad.  This is only the beginning of a journey that even I myself do not know where it will lead.  A mystery, my favorite.  :)