Yesterday is Over, Today Sucks, What Will Tomorrow hold? Irony Rules.

Everyday I feel different, some are better than others, there are those few that daunt me and make me question my own life's worth.  I continue, each day hoping it will be different, better. I made it through the two year anniversary of my mothers death with my life and maybe, just maybe a little hope that it does get easier.  I almost feel guilty for feeling that way, it's a crazy fucked up way to think, (welcome to my world) but I know she would want me to be better but I feel guilty for feeling better, like her life has less value this year than last. I still don't have a job, other than Mary Kay, which I hardly consider a job.  It's avoiding overly fake happy directors that could really give two shits about you, as long as I am making my minimum order, which is all I do.  I love the makeup, it's not that, it's the fact that I don't feel very social at the moment and you kinda need to be to sell people stuff.  So I sit here broke, counting out change for cigarettes and skipping lunch but I have a bag full of shit that I could sell and have money.  Oh the irony.