Orange is the New Black.... Best Show Ever.

Netflix has impressed me once more, damn them.  I love watching whole seasons of a show at a time, I apparently need to be instantly gratified and simply cannot wait a mere seven days to see what happens.  I think I have pretty much watched all of the good movies, most of the television shows, and now I am hooked on Orange is the new black. Jengi Kohan wrote it so of course I knew I would be a fan. She wrote Weeds, just in case you didn't know.  I was a big fan of Weeds and sad to see it go.  Now I know that this show is the reason, so I am over my anger of no more Weeds.
 Season one was amazing, I am in awe at the characters and the way they are personified in such a different yet empathetic way. I started season two last night and the first episode scared me when they moved Piper.  I thought they we're going with a whole new character plot and introducing new people and if so, I don't think I would watch.  Thankfully episode one ended with a BAM moment, big shocker there and now Piper is back with the characters that I fell in love with.  Red is getting her attitude back, crazy eyes is growing a pair, Piper is kinda scary now and my favorite part is they are going back in time and showing each character as a child and how they got to where they are now, with some shockers along the way.  I am impressed and hooked. It's a Netflix original series so you might want to go ahead and pay that $7.99 a month. The show itself is worth that but there are also some really good independent movies that are really good as well.

Flying by the seat of my pants. Husband supported.

I have always been a "fly by the seat of my pants" type of girl.  Never planning,  never thinking of the consequences of my actions until it's too late.  Now I am unemployed too.  I fucking rock.  I have an amazing husband that supports my craziness, even promotes it sometimes.  I had a shitty job at the tobacco store, I was the manager so it was a good job but I was treated like shit and overworked.  There is an entry on here about me quitting said shitty job, if you'd like to read it.  Anyway, my husband encouraged me to quit because it was killing me, aging me and breaking my spirit.  Then he supported my decision to take a little break and find myself again.  When I was working so much, (6 A.M til 6 or 7 P.M) I had no time to do anything for myself or anything with my husband.  Our marriage was on the rocks, my sanity was fading fast, my district manager could give two shits about what was going on, it was a mess.  I hadn't been outside during the daylight in a year and a half unless it was to go to the bank to make the deposit.  Thank God if we needed change or store supplies, that was another short trip.  When work errands become the only good part of your day, it's time to make a change. Since quitting I have slept in, done nothing some days, written others, taken pictures, drove my one year old new car around that I couldn't enjoy except for seeing it in the parking lot at work.  I see life in a whole new light since my mama passed away, life is too damn short to be miserable. I am selling Mary Kay now, I love it.  It's on my terms so I sell what I want, when I want. There is a lot of pressure on my husband to be the sole provider right now but he is amazing and never lets me down.  He lifts me up and encourages me to do what makes me happy, even if I don't know what that is right now.  I am looking into a few things, I am a good business woman, I am a people person like crazy, I never meet a stranger and I am kinda competitive so when I get my mind set on something...It's a done deal.  I just want to make people happy, that makes me happy.  How do I incorporate the two things into one awesome life plan?  Hmmm???  I will have to think on that one. Right now, I am the happiest yet the most scared I have ever been in my life.  We don't make enough money to pay my car payment, (2 months behind now) I don't have car insurance and my phone will be shut off in 6 days. I cannot fret, for everything always works out in the end, I don't know how but it does. My husband is a damn magician ninja sometimes and I couldn't be more appreciative of the man he is, allowing me the time I need to be the woman I am supposed to be.  The woman I can be, The woman I will be.

My Mama was awesome......... Stop spoiling your kids, they are assholes.

As many of you know, my mother was a very awesome person. Anyone who knew her and had the chance to hang out with her knew she still had that 60's spirit and can do/will do attitude.  She was amazing.  I lost her to cancer in July of 2012, my life will never be the same.  She was my best friend, my counselor, my confidant, my everything.  When I say, she knew everything about me, I mean EVERYTHING!  There were no secrets.  She knew when I was on drugs, she knew when I was drinking, cheating, being stupid and careless....she knew it all.  She allowed me to make my own decisions, no matter how blatantly horrible the outcome was going to be. she let me fall, to learn to get back up. She allowed me to fuck up and I know it sounds nuts to some people and I don't mean I was 14 or 15 while all this was going on, I was over 18, had a job, my own place, and was going to college. She always said, "I'm not always going to be around to fix things when you fuck up, practice now". :)
She was taken to soon, she was only 63 years old, it's not fair.  I feel cheated like I didn't get enough time with her and I didn't. I know some people have lost they're mothers even sooner than I lost mine so I feel fortunate to have had the time I did, but I'd be a liar if I said it was enough.  We had plans, she wanted a hover round because it was hard for her to get around and my mom had so many things left undone.  I almost feel like it's my destiny to fulfill the things she wanted to do.  She was the most unselfish person in the world, she ALWAYS put others before herself, always.  It amazed me and angered me sometimes, all at once because I wanted her to make herself happy first.  She would always say that seeing other people happy is what made her happy and that's why she did it.  "Happiness is like a reflection", she said, "what you give comes back, how you treat others reflects back to you".  I really miss her.  I had to work for things that I wanted, nothing free, no handouts.  She wasn't mean, I had a cell phone (so she could track my ass) and if I didn't answer, oh shit, I was in trouble. Long ass story short, my mama was the best mom ever, she raised me to be independent if need be but allowed me to accept love into my life but not to be dependent on a man or anyone for that matter.  Kids these days have been handed everything on a silver platter and they suck.  No one has jobs anymore, still living at moms, she's still doing their laundry and cooking while their adult child plays video games all day and has no intent to be a productive member of society.  What the hell is going to happen when we are all old and these fuckers are running our government?  It's fucked now.  We are fucked.  This generation of "gimmies" doesn't look like it's getting any better so pray or do what you do, then move to Canada or Europe somewhere, at least over their, you are treated like a human not a number.  Wow, got way of track on this one.  HA  story of my life.  Point is, my mom was awesome and most moms today have it all wrong.  And no I am not a mom and I know nothing.  It's an opinion and freedom of speech and those are rights that all Americans have, some people are just afraid to be honest, afraid of what others will think.  who gives a shit? If I learned anything, the most important thing she taught me was that you only get one life, use it wisely. I Love you mama and I thank you for the strong woman that you helped me to become!  You're a star in the sky and I know you are with me still.  I will miss you everyday. <3

I quit my Job!!!!! I feel amazing.

So, I have worked at the tobacco store for almost 5 years, the last year and a half, I was the manager. My salary was $420.00 a week, after taxes and forced insurance, oh and paid every two weeks as well.... my BRING HOME was a whopping $630.66 for 70+ hours a week.  That equals out to $315.33 a week!!!  BULLSHIT.  No allowed overtime for employees, only allowed two employees.  I was considered manager and day cashier, then my 2 employees switched out nights.  I never had a day off, I didn't have time during the day to do paperwork or ordering because I had to wait on customers.  Only one person at work at a time.  BULLSHIT.  That store was in the ghetto, we had been robbed twice before and broken into several times.  Safety first, two people should have been there at all times. Anyway, now that you have the back story, oh and I wasn't even allowed to lock the door to use the bathroom, I still did and he can suck it but this is the kind of shit I had to put up with.  My hours were supposed to be from 6 a.m til 1 p.m but no, my help couldn't come in until 1 so by the time we switched out drawers, counted lottery, did paperwork, blah,blah..... I was there all day doing MY job after 2.  So on May 6, 2014, I had enough.  I had been begging my district manager for another employee during the day because I was so busy that I couldn't get shit done.  He put me off and said he'd come look at my numbers and check.  Motherfucker, you can see my computer from any other computer so quit lying and putting me off.  AHHH.  I have no respect for this man.  My night employee called in and my other night employee was out of town. Great, another 16 hour day.  Fucking yay.  So I called my district manager and he acted like it was no big deal.  Fuck him.  Overworked and WAY underpaid.  I started grabbing my shit and bounced.  I did lock up all the money, left post it notes letting whoever know what was where and needed info, I left my keys behind labeled, locked up nicely, slid key under door, peace the fuck out.  Here I come life.... I sure have missed you.  I didn't even realize what all that job stole from me over the last 2 years.  I haven't written that much because I have been living and doing.  Some bad stuff, some good.  ;) LIVING.  You only get one life.....use it wisely.  I will fill you in on the dirt later.  Juicy.  LOL.  Now the new manager has a cashier in the day with her.  ugh, that's all I wanted. It's ok, both employees quit so he spent a pretty penny replacing me.  HA.