What I have Learned About Relationships with Men. (Still learning)

I am a very happily married woman but it took a lot of bullshit and assholes before I found my prince.  In my opinion, some women need to lower their standards just a little. (I said just a little) don't bring home just any jack ass.  No one is perfect and there will always be something that will irk you about your man.  It's about balance, compromise and communication.  Instead of wasting my time looking for the perfect man, I found a man that is perfect for me!!  Here's my rules that seem to work well for me..... So far.
        In no particular order.

1. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES.  Some things aren't worth arguing over.  I'd rather just pick the damn clothes off of the floor and put them in the hamper myself then say anything.  I am sure he keeps quite about some of the irritating things I do.
2. IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT REALLY COUNT.  Don't get me wrong, I love gifts and flowers as much as the next girl but I would much rather my husband pick me some fresh flowers than buy me some that took no effort except whipping out the wallet.  It makes me happier than anything when he comes up behind me when I am doing something and he just hugs me.  And kisses on the forehead....  Love them!!
3. COMMUNICATE AND LISTEN.  Always take the time to talk about anything.  It's cool to have your secrets, we all do, but when it comes down to it, I know I can talk to him and that is a refreshing feeling.  We talk about our day, our complaints, our worries and concerns. We always know that we love each other.  Never a doubt.
4. NEVER HAVE THE PAST SEX PARTNER TALK. No explanation needed, the past is the past and as long as both people are STD free.... What the fuck does it matter??  I have no idea how many women my husband slept with before me and I have no reason to care.  Anything that happened before me that doesn't affect our relationship now is a non issue.  And everyone lies anyway so why bother?  Besides, does anyone really want to have that talk??  Hell NO!!
5. MAKE TIME FOR ALONE TIME. (IT'S NECESSARY) I love getting in my car with a fountain cherry coke and loud music and my camel filters and driving with no destination in mind. It clears my head and relieves any stress I may be having.  It is very therapeutic.  My husband goes to visits friends without me and he has his things that make him less stressed out.  Some I would rather not think about.  Ewww.  
6. MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER.  Alone time is good but it's always important to make time for each other as well.  I can't count how many concerts my husband has taken me to and he really didn't like the band.  He likes to hike and sweat and shit.  Not my thing but this summer I will be hiking it up sweating tits to do things he likes too.  It's give and take.  
7. HAVE A DATE NIGHT.  Whether it's a fancy place to eat or Burger King in your living room floor on a fake ass make shift picnic table with candles and everything, it is important to eat dinner together and talk.  Maybe even feed each other the sexy stuff.  Do not attempt with Spam.  I tried, there is nothing sexy about coagulated meat product.  
8. HELP EACH OTHER IN EVERYTHING YOU DO.   Any man that will help me use the bathroom because my nails are wet is a winner in my book.  I help him too, if it wasn't for me his nose hairs would have their own area code and let's not even talk about the occasional butt pimple.  He gets mine too.  We make a great team!!
9. BE EACH OTHERS BEST FRIEND.  Self explanatory.  If he's not your best friend..... keep on stepping.  When the looks fade and the wrinkles don't, it's gonna be your conversations and laughter that keep you happy.  Start early.  

EdgeFest 2011 pics

EdgeFest 2011, Seether, Stone Sour, Theory Of a Deadman and more!

 Music!!!

 Drunk girlie talk with my niece.

 Uncle Nick embarrassed of our behavior. lol 

 Beauty runs in our family

 Much Love

 And Peace, or bunny ears!

 My wonderful husband and BFF

 Some say we are weird.  I don't know where they get that idea??

 Kissy Kissy Love

 Some random dudes cool ass shirt.

And nothing like a dude in a tree to make our concert experience complete.

Things I love list

I did a hate list so I guess it's only fair that I complete a love list too.  Just keeping things even around here.  Again.... in no particular order.  (Only because that would require too much thought and I am high).

* Rainbows (colors in the sky without drugs.... SCORE!!!)
* Sticky Notes (Good thing for potheads or forgetful people.) Same difference.
* Toilet Paper (do ya need a reason?)
* Rechargeable batteries (fuck paying for them every time, lazy fuckers, charge them bitches.)
* Iphones (Love it)
* Incense (covers funk or non funk)
* Glitter (a cheating mans worst enemy)
* Animals (they don't judge, lie, cheat, but they will steal your sandwich)
* Flip Flops (as close to barefoot as this hippie can be)
* Ipods (My music when I want.  SCORE!!!!!)
* Things that dangle (think what ya want, you're probably right.)
* Cats (they are some funny motherfuckers)
* Photography (my dream)
* Grand Theft Auto (who doesn't wanna run the fuck over some assholes while jamming out to crazy techno??>>  Exactly.)
* My husband (he is amazing!)
* Notebooks and pens (together they can make magic.)
* Stealing Pens (I'm a addict)
* Magic 8 balls (the deciding factor in many of my sexual encounters, before I was married of course.)
* Roller Derby (bad ass)
* Grocery Carts (imagine carrying all that shit??)
* Text Messaging (maybe I don't want to talk to you)
* Hand Sanitizer (not weird all the time applying it, you people are freaks, some germs are good.)  And you wonder why you're damn kids are sick all the fucking time??>>  Duh, they need some dirt or germs.
* Sports with Violence (I want to see blood!)
* Stealing Random Restaurant Items (only the stuff they expect to get stolen anyway)
* Collecting Shot Glasses
* Velcro (genius)  Laces for lazy people, or dumb asses that can't tie shoes.
* Tattoos (art on bodies?, beautiful.)
* Chap Stick
* Stickers (always cool)
* Shiny and or Sparkly Things
* Quarter Machines (with cool junk in them.)
* Glass Bottle Coke (that stuff is the shit)  I think it has crack in it.
* Balloon Animals (duh, no I am totally easily amused.)
* Cars with Cup-holders
* My Family (Mom's side only)
* Smiling at strangers  (to confuse them mainly)
* Good Movies
* Color Changing Pipes (That other people own)  of course.
* Pink (the color)
* Pink (the artist, she's pretty bad ass too)
* Bic Lighters (hello??  You can wash them and they still work!!)
* Diamonds  (I want a bigger one though.)
* Scoopable Cat Litter  (disappearing poo and pee!!!)  My kind of thing!
* Painting (it's fun to be messy)
* Laser Pointers (just fun)
* Sexy Delivery People (sign where??) lol
* The Loyalty of My Dogs (they love me knowing I'm a fuck up.)
* Hammers (those fuckers are useful)
* Easy Cheese (that's damn near # 1)
* Good Comedy
* Lotion (for dry skin, pervs)
* KY Intense arousal Gel (there you go prevs.)
* Ice Water
* Sweet Tea
* Netflix (movies on demand.... SCORE!!!)
* Men who Manscape  (it's important dudes really)  Besides it makes your junk look bigger.  Not that my man needs it.  In fact, he needs to grow a jungle to hide that trouser snake.
* Concerts
* Good Friends (not fake bitches)
* Blogging  (fun to talk to no one and everyone at the same time.)
* Old Cartoons (foghorn leghorn, the coyote, the good ones!)
* Music (says what you can't sometimes)
* A Good Margarita (patron what??)
* love
* Clicky Ink Pens (screw keeping up with a lid, not my thing.)
* 4 Wheel Drive (makes mud fun.)
* Fountain Sodas (bottle what?)
* Chicklet Gum (yummy)
* Cold Beer
* Converse (classic black)
* Shag Carpet (dirt hides for longer.)
* Hair Ties (totally useful)
* Peanut M&M's  (healthy snack.)  Kinda.

That's all I can think of right off the top of my melon in this mind-state of awesomeness.  
Peace and LOVE to all.

I have NO idea what I want to be when I grow up??

I am in my early thirties.  I feel and act like I am much younger.  I see no problems with the lifestyle choice I have made.  My husband and I are in agreement that we do not want children.  I am mature and dependable and all those important things but when it comes to planning for the future.... I got nothing.  I went to college for a few years off and on.  5 to be exact.  I never found anything that I wanted to do so I dropped out and started managing a restaurant at night.  I loved it and I loved the people.  I miss it terribly.  It got shut down during the economic shit fall of 2008.  I have worked one job since then and it was hard as fuck to even get that one.  I even stooped to the low level of telemarketing I was so desperate.  I won't do that again,  I will sell fruit on the street corner before I spend 5 hours a day getting hung up on or cussed at 80% of the time.   I guess some are destined for greatness and maybe I am too, I'm just pacing myself so I don't freak anyone out. LOL.  Someone has to do the bullshit jobs at gas stations and restaurants.  I accept the fact that it is me.  I am cool with that!  I just thought I was supposed to be doing something better.  Maybe I am, hopefully people will read this crap and realize that pretty much everyone's life sucks the same.... just at different times.  I always thought it would be cool to be a writer and since I can't do that, I will blog my heart out and hope someone sees my quick wit and awesome charm and let me write for them.  I am working on a book about how it's okay to be a nobody.  I have done it just fine for 30+ years and I am still loving life and maintaining valuable relationships while not compromising who I am or embarrassing my family.  I think that is pretty good.  I don't have any illegitimate     children, I'm not on drugs, and I even do random acts of kindness just because it feels fucking great.  My life is pretty amazing considering that some would not be able to handle my life. I love it,  so what if I have no idea what kind of job I want.  If I have learned anything; it is not WHAT you know it is WHO you know.  Sucks donkey balls but it's true.  I know some dumb-ass people that have good jobs and I promise  it's not because they are awesome workers, it's because they know someone already that works there.  Unfair if you ask me, but no one ever does.  I know because I have been one of them.  Bastards.  I'm just jealous that's all.  At least I can admit that. I will get my toe hold in the burger industry, until then I am forced to complain while sitting on my ever growing ass watching Netflix.  Loving me some movies!!

I Loved a Man and then he died. :(

It's odd how a memory, a song, a movie, whatever, can take you back into a moment of time so far away yet it feels so close and so real.  I am watching Romeo and Juliet on Netflex, the Claire Danes and Leo whatever version.  Either way, I remembered when the last time I saw this movie;  it was late 1996 and it had just came out on video and I invited a love interest over to watch it with me.  He actually came over and we had a really great time.  It was the first time that I got up enough nerve to tell him that I loved him.  Only I wrote it backwards on his chest with a Sharpie.  Did he see it when he got home after spending he night in my arms?  I could only hope so.  I never got up enough nerve to tell him for real so I did  the best I could.  I think deep down, he knew that I loved him.  I want to believe that he knew that I loved him.  I hope he knew that I loved him.

It's odd how things shape who we are today.  My first love passed away this coming up April 20th 1999.  It seems like yesterday sometimes.  Though I am now a happily married woman, I know I wouldn't be able to be the wife I am today without the help of that relationship so many years ago.  I miss him dearly and not a week goes by that I don't think about him and wish he was here to be my friend.  I married the right man, things happened the way they were supposed to, except for the part where my friend died.  He wasn't supposed to die.  We were supposed to grow old bitchy friends together.  He bailed, no note, no explanation.  Just unanswered questions. I still hurt, I still cry, I still visit his grave monthly (at least).  And the most awesome thing is that I feel him around me, watching over me, and so does my husband.  At first he wasn't sure but now there is no doubt.  He is with us both, protecting us, loving us both.  When Nicholas and I got married I got my confirmation early that he was the one forever.....  The morning after our wedding, we visited my first loves grave, my Jason, and Nicholas told him that he would take care of me and for him not to worry.  Ever since then then it's like our marriage is protected by a bubble or something.  We are solid as a rock and I love him more than anything.  There must be an afterlife, because I feel it daily.  I love my husband and I love my past love for many different reasons. Everyone has that one special one and I married him for sure.  I am so blessed to have such a loving husband that is proud of the woman I have become because of who inspired me and who hopefully I inspired a little too.

 I miss you Jason.  See ya on  the other side........  Love you.

My Hate List.

In No particular order...

*The entire cast of Jersey Shore

* Judgmental people

*Skinny Jeans

*Getting ass splashed while shitting (booty douche)

*dust

*Finding nail clippings in random places

*Grocery store music

*Politics

*Loud breathers

*Pretty much anything creepy crawly except lady bugs, they are always cool!

*Piss on the toilet seat

*Wal-Mart

* Gravity in regards to age

* Rubik's cube or any other toy that makes me feel dumb

* Waiting rooms

* People that think they know everything 

* Plastic fruit

* thieves

* Fake ass people

* Tweakers

* Getting fired

* Running out of smokes while drinking

* Haters

* Misplaced lighters 

* People that can't take a hint

* Shady people

* Commercials that SCREAM at me

* Rich people who waste

* People that still call shotgun 

* Privileged people that still act like the world owes them something 

* MTV, no music.  Liars.

* Parallel parking

* Butt pimples

* Ugly feet

* Running out of toilet paper

* Cheaters

* Idiots

* Sandals with straps on men (dorks)

* Football, baseball, basketball 

* Operation Repo

That's all I can think of at the moment but I am sure this list will grow and grow!!  

My New Things

Bronco, my new kitty!                                       

Otis my rescue Pit bull!!

 Zippy, my new ride!

Naile, my new Bengal kitty.

My Dreams Turned Into Hobbies. :)

I have always been a dreamer.  When I was little, it was gymnastics and as I got older it was photography.  Those dreams got squashed for one reason or another and now they have turned into hobbies that I just happen to be really good at.  I was pissed about the whole situation at first.  I was mad at myself for not trying harder and I wished I would have pushed myself to do the things that I love.  Instead of the regret that I thought I would feel, I am happy for some strange reason.  I am very fortunate to have had the wonderful experiences that I did.  I was gymnast of the year once, my photos have been chosen for print ads and coffee table photography books, I am blessed.  So I didn't make it to the Olympics, oh well, I can still do a mean double back handspring and at my age, I am just happy I haven't broken a bone yet.  I take my camera everywhere I go and I have a hell of an eye for photography so I am happy with the way things turned out.  The cool thing is, I can do either if I want to and I know that, and that's enough for me.  I am a trained gymnast and photographer yet I am under no pressure to be the best anymore and that is refreshing.  Sometimes dreams are just meant to turn into really kick ass hobbies!!

I have Tattoos but I need a job. Damn it.

I live in the south and as if that wasn't punishment enough I must deal with the daily ridicule of having a few tattoos.  It makes no sense to me, if an old Navy man has an anchor on his arm it's totally okay but just because I haven't fought a war I can't have a tattoo.  Hmmm???  Contradictory much?  I am a good person, I leave a penny instead of taking one, I always let people pull out in front of me while driving, I hold doors open for people at the grocery store, I take in stray animals and the occasional couch surfing friend.  I am nice damn it.  I have worked in the customer service industry since I was 16 years old and consider myself an asset to any job I have.  Unfortunately a few tattoos have some employers concerned about my work capabilities.  Did the ink soak in and make me dumb?  It's not like it says fuck off on my forehead.  I have a few tastefully placed tattoos but you would think that I murdered a family of four and ate their dog or something.  I didn't, just for the record.   My last job was in management at a busy restaurant and I loved it and I was good at it.  Tattoos and all.  It was even a "country" themed place with old people everywhere.  They loved me and could care less if I had a tattoo or not.  Well when the economy did it's back flip that fucked everyone, I lost my job.  That was in 2009.  I graciously accepted unemployment benefits while I looked for a new job.  My benefits ran out yet I am not employed.  I have looked and called and played on-line.  I can't find anything.   I even broke down and joined the evil world of telemarketing,  Yeah, I was desperate.  I worked there and it was pure hell.  I can deal with a bunch of crap but the place I was working was pushing the line.  I got hung up on, cussed at, whistles blown in my ear, you name it, it happened. They let me go after a month.  I have never been happy to be fired but I was that day.  I didn't even cry and I usually do when I get fired.  I am still on the prowl for employment.  Hopefully I will find something soon.  I guess I just want people to not be so judgmental.  It's not cool.  Christians don't judge so stop.  Give people a chance, they might surprise you.

Glee, A Great yet Fake as Fuck Show!!!

Don't get me wrong I am a gleek, I watch every week and I think it is a very good show.  It crosses generations and brings them together.  What other show can you watch while jamming out to some old Journey and still spend time with your kids??  I think the concept is genius and the family time it produces is much needed in todays society.  Too many kids are busy playing video games while life just passes them by.  I am really thankful that I didn't have all the snazzy shit that kids have today.  I enjoyed being outdoors and spending time with my friends.  Back to my point, Glee is a really good show but let's get real people.... none of that shit would happen in real life and I think it's unfair to let kids think that school is really like that.  High school sucks and kids should be aware of that so they can prepare for the bullshit that is to come.  For example the poor wheelchair boy wouldn't be banging the hot Asian chick and the hot guy wouldn't have a crush on the fat girl.  The super cool gay guy is not going to be accepted by the jocks.  It doesn't happen.  Ever.  I hate that it's true but it is.  Kids are mean and spiteful, they aren't nice and supportive as they are portrayed on many shows, not just Glee.  I feel sorry for the brace face fat girl that starts high school and thinks everything will be "gleeful" because it will not be, not even a little bit.  I suffered as a victim of bullying when I was in school because I had braces and freckles.  Oh and don't forget my stutter.  I was a real winner.  There are still a few people I would like to punch in the fucking face but I am a lady so I will refrain.  Point is, these shows are giving fat nerdy kids hopes of acceptance that they will have to fight for more than they know.  Makes me sad.

The only girl that ever made me cry.

First off I am not a lesbian.  Not that I care if you are or you think that I am.  Just putting that out there.  When I was 15 my mom got an opportunity to further her education and get a masters degree in Psychology.  I was scared, apprehensive and terrified of being in a new town knowing not a freaking soul.  We moved the summer before 11th grade, not a good time to make friends.  Hell the groups are already formed, I fit in nowhere.  It sucked.  Bad.  I was lonely and depressed, I didn't know where I was supposed to be.  Sad to say but sometimes in this country we judge, form groups, make others feel like outcasts, all the things we say we do not do.  My junior year sucked, I hung out with whoever would invite me places and was afraid to talk to new people.  I got a job working at Baskin Robbins hoping I would have some kind of human contact.  It was awesome, I ended up getting my own place with a girl I was working with and it was great.  One of my co-workers was super awesome but she was kinda popular so I never thought she would be my friend.  Looking back now, I never knew she would change my life and even my way of thinking.  Her name is Carrie and she is amazing.  We became the best of friends, she introduced me to the coolest music that I still love today.  Without her I would not have such an large amount of Rage Against the Machine cds, books, biographies and so on and so on.  She had such an impact on me.  She even made me a mix-tape before she left and I still have it.  All of our fave songs were on it.  Bad Ass!!!!! I would not be who I am without her.  We had a great friendship and then she broke my heart.  Her family was moving and not like across town.  5 hours away.  To an 19 year old that's a long fucking way.  Just saying.  She was my rock, I could tell her anything.  Then she was gone.  I was immature and I felt like I wasn't good enough, I thought I ran another person off in my life that I loved.  I cried for days, weeks, then just said fuck it, she's gone.  It's like I just tried to block it out because it hurt so bad.  I went to visit her once and she came to visit me once.  It was awesome, we just clicked right back like we had never been separated and I hoped the visits would continue.  They didn't but it was no ones fault, things happen.  I was a douche a couple times when I knew she was in town I didn't make an effort to see her but neither did she.  I guess were both wrong to some degree.  I want our friendship back, I hate that we have lost over a decade of talking and catching up.  I want nothing but to walk outside and see her ass jump out of the bushes.  (inside joke)  I will tack a bloody sock onto my wall.  (another inside joke)
Anyway I have made it my mission to reconnect with her.  I even missed her wedding.  That killed me, I always thought I would be there for that.  She looked so beautiful and happy.  Love looks good on her!!  So hopefully I will get enough money gathered to take a trip to see the only girl that ever made me cry.
Love you Carrie.

Put I.D's on your dogs please assholes!!!!!!!!

I am so tired of finding dogs and some cats lost and when I finally chase them down after what seems like forever, the little bastards have no I.D tag.  Even more dumb than that they will have some pimp ass collar on but no freaking tag.  Are you serious??  These idiots waste the money on a flashy ass collar that serve no fucking purpose if there is no identification on it.  Morons.  I have obtained another dog because of this and it could have been prevented.  I hate Wal-Mart don't get me wrong but they have metal I.D tags for $5.00 people.  Ugh.  I have the ones you write on and then you bake them to shrink them down.  They are fun, cheap, and USEFUL.  And of course I will keep this dog because I am a pussy and he had NO TAGS.  At least I am not like some of these assholes that drop off litter fulls out in the country.  You people suck, I mean you really suck.  You are a waste of perfectly good oxygen and you make me wanna vomit.  Go jump off a building, you won't be missed you piece of shit.  Whew, I feel better.

Commercialized Holiday's SUCK.

I mean really, do we need an extra day to feel obligated, then feel like shit because we can't follow through???  These damn commercialized holidays all over the T.V reminding us how broke we all are but showing us all the wonderful things we cannot afford on an hourly basis in commercials.  I'm rambling which I tend to do but it really sucks to feel like shit anyway so you watch some boob tube to forget and then see all these damn holiday family commercials.  Ugh, sickening. I am all for spending time with loved ones during the holidays but it shouldn't feel like an obligation.  Then that obligation turns into disappointment real quick because your broke ass can't buy anyone anything.  So what do you do??  It's the though that counts right??  In that case I hope everyone knows that I am thinking of them and am thankful they are in my life.  You don't have to see me to know that.  I want to have a totally basackwards Thanksgiving and Christmas and eat pizza or some shit.  Maybe even turkey pizza.  Hmmm????  Just the hubby and I and a pizza pie.  Sounds fantastic.  Screw you Hallmark.

Weed is illegal. That blows!!!!!

I'm just ranting because I think it is total bullshit that marijuana is illegal.  Are you serious??  Our jails are so overcrowded with this stupid shit that it's nuts.  Our tax dollars are feeding these fools that only wanted to smoke a little weed.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't think people should have mass amounts or sell to kids but damn just a little smoking is fine by me.  How many people die each year from alcohol related shit?  A whole bunch.  How many marijuana related deaths each year do we have?  None that I know of.  Just saying.  A cop even told me that he's never been to a domestic dispute where just weed was involved but has been to countless where alcohol was involved.  Hmmmm???  Again, just saying.  Alcohol is legal and killing people everyday.  Potheads are just chilling talking about shit that they'll never really do because the couch is just so freaking comfortable.  I wanna move to California so bad.  I would have a prescription for sure.  It totally helps with anxiety and creativity.  Both of which are important to me since I have now taken up painting. Anyway just a rant.  Puff puff pass.

Damn T.V Guide Channel & Your Cool Ass Music

I wake up to watch the rolling channel listings searching for something awesome to watch.   It usually takes me a few rotations to catch everything because of those damn commercials at the top.  Ugh.  Well here lately it has taken me more and more rotations to find something to watch and that's because the music they play on that station is amazing.  I mean talk about an awesome flashback of all the good music compiled and set to the rolling  fantasticness of television programming.  I am hooked.  I no longer even use that station to find something to watch.  That's my new jam.  It's the best cleaning music I have found.  This morning they blessed me with Prince and some 80's Janet Jackson.  What more could a girl ask for?  Today will be a good day.  Every day can be a good day if you want it to be.  Oh yeah..... walk like an Egyptian.